Go Outside and Play !!

   Mark moved to Texas 2 1/2 months before the rest of the family.  That same weekend another family from Washington moved to Texas.  Mark met them at church - three of their children match the ages of our three still at home.  How fun it has been to have such good friends already - our kids have a great time together - all of them laughing, talking, playing games, etc.
   Our two families have a lot in common.   One important characteristic of both families - we limit our children's away-from-the-home activities so that the family has recreational time together.  We both enjoyed living in Washington with all of the outdoor activities available.  Hiking, swimming, exploring the coast...    A few nights ago my friend looked at me and expressed her concern for how we will spend our summer hours in the heat and without the mountains, lakes and rivers to which we are accustomed.  That night I slept fitfully as I pictured a summer without Lewisville Park, Battle Ground Lake, Siouxon Falls, Moulton Falls...

I captured this on my
phone last August and
it should explain my
summertime anxiety

I loved walking at Lewisville
Park several times/week

  To know me is to know that one of my greatest dreams for my children came true when we moved to our five secluded acres.  We lived there almost 14 years and never watched a television station.   My kids played outdoors with their imagination - I love hearing them reminisce about their make-believe games.  It sounds like they all had a special spot in the woods where they could go to be alone.  I know I did.
  I have been very blessed to move to Texas with 2.3 somewhat secluded acres also!  My property is lined with trees on three sides and a neighbor with a pond on the other.  I am humbly grateful each day to have found this location!
   I just stepped outside to spray paint several picture frames.  Yes, it is a bit cold to be painting outdoors in January.  Nevertheless, those few minutes outside were exhilarating.  More so than sitting here, now, at my computer.

My kids built some sort of stone-
henge at our favorite beach,
Cape Lookout

This entire blog post was inspired by a friend's Facebook post which included this important video: Click Here  It is sobering to think what is happening with our current generation and what this means for the future!

This seems like a good time to transcribe a paragraph from a letter written by Mark in September of 1994!  It surfaced during the move. It is printed on a dot matrix printer and still has the paper-feed sides to it.  (We used to be better about writing letters to our families.) The setting is Aloha, OR.  We had just graduated from BYU and moved to the northwest.  Mark is telling everyone about the blackberries, the zoo, and other discoveries.  Then he writes this:

Our neighbor's pond in
Texas is beautiful

One of the best things we have done as a family is sell our TV.  I recommend this to everyone.  We do plan to buy a small portable 13 inch to use as a monitor for watching videos, but feel no urgency to do so.  You may ask how we fill the void of TV.  Well, there is no void, only freedom.  

As we drove away from WA,
one last stop at
Multnomah Falls.

   The lack of TV allows time to read books with the boys or play other games.  Corinne and I also enjoy reading.  For news we listen to the radio during the day.  This is much better because the radio takes time to discuss issues instead of just giving a headline.  I have access to computer databases at work and can print articles from all the major newspapers.  If there is an issue that we want to know more about we have a great information source.  The nicest part of not having a TV is that we have eliminated the negative influence in our home.  We no longer feel obligated to sit and watch all night long.  Instead we go for walks or just sit and talk to each other.  Again, I encourage all of you to move the TV out of the front room and into a closet only to be used occasionally.

I have been thinking, if this
doesn't sell I will have a great
summer vacation home!

In WA we kept this "TV"
under our stairs and pulled
it out to watch movies.

This was obviously before the internet was a part of our lives.  No one would have dreamed of smart phones, especially in the hands of children!  Mark was 28 when he wrote this.  As I read I am encouraged to think of new ways to cut back on technology.
Yesterday I talked with another mom who limits her kids' time with technology.  (It was her Facebook post.)  It is so refreshing, why is it so rare?!
Seriously - if you haven't watched that video... go back and click.

Surgery Photo - Warning

Here are a couple of photos Greg has shared in conjunction with his 5 year anniversary.  They are pretty awful - yet fascinating!

Working as an O.R. nurse (so long ago) helps me - I loved the blood and seeing the body... yet if I look too long and remember that it is my baby... I suddenly join the squeamish!

The tumor photo - ugh!

I have added the photo of the cake - another testament to Greg's fun and positive spirit... he texted it to me last night.  He wanted to get rid of a cake mix, so he made this cake to celebrate with his roommates - the completion of the first week of the semester.

Lucky roommates!

Cancer Leaves Its Mark - & Its a Good One

Greg feigning surprise to
find a tumor on his leg!

Greg's leg today

"Being cheerful is the only way you can get through it."
Today we celebrate the FIVE year anniversary of Greg's surgery in which 10 inches of tibia was removed and replaced with a prosthetic implant.  It was a lifetime ago, and yet happened only yesterday!
To celebrate, Greg has written a blog post for me to share.  After all of Mom's commentary on the subject, it is nice to read Greg's view of his cancer and the impact on his life:

There are moments that can change your life forever. Being diagnosed with cancer is one of those moments. Not only are the next few months instantly scheduled for you in a completely different way, but your life will never be the same. 

An experience like cancer will leave its mark. From my battles I have seen cancers mark on my Body, Mind and Family. 

Body

Scars aren't reminders of when you were weak, but of the times you were stronger than whatever came at you. After intensive surgery and chemotherapy my body will never be the same. There are some physical limitations that prevent me from activities I enjoyed, but also a great excuse to avoid the strenuous and less desirable ones. 

Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't been so lucky with my operations and had to have my leg amputated, or live with a colostomy bag for the rest of my life if I would have done it. Would the major changes be worth saving my life? The answer of course is yes. You do what you have to. I'm just glad I got the easy way out and don't have more serious complications. 

Mind

Surviving surgeries and chemo isn't an easy task, but there is a mental strength that comes from knowing that you can do hard things. There is a mental and emotional mark from cancer. Yes it is hard sometimes to keep smiling, hard to accept your “fate” of the disgusting treatments and its side effects, but as with other hard things you survive. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If I survived cancer twice and I'm only 22, then leaving home, going to school, serving a mission, those all become obstacles that I know I can overcome because I have seen my strength and I know that I can do it. There is a mental mark, but it isn't a disability, it's a support beam. 

Family

The final mark cancer leaves is on a family. Obviously there are effects on extra time Mom stays in the hospital instead of being home. There's dealing with a brother who sleeps in the living room and throws up all day. There's the extra presents on Christmas from hospital volunteers. There's the anxiety of going on a mission and leaving behind a sick brother. There are lots of strains that are placed on the family of a sick person. 

The family is different afterwards. Not only do we make jokes about cancer that make strangers stare, but we are drawn closer. I feel that having pulled together and having gone through the experience many times with many family members really helped me to understand why family is important. We have done things others will never do. I feel that as a family we appreciate time we have together. It's a mark for good. If we weren't “the cancer family” we’d probably just be some boring family with a cat. 

But I was looking through a box of “cancer memories” in the attic over Christmas break and the large pile of cards I found reminded me that family is a lot bigger. Extended family, grandparents, friends,  church members, neighbors, acquaintances, doctors, Dad’s coworkers children, my dentist, my old orthodontist, school teachers, and many others had taken the time to think about me, pray for me, and “send their love”. Cancer can affect a community. Those networks of love and concern provided a net that helped support me, encourage me, and make me feel like I wasn't alone. 

Cancer leaves a mark, but it's a mark for good. 

It's the anniversary of my leg surgery (1/11/11) and almost the anniversary of my colon surgery (1/22/15) (yes I try to get them close together on the calendar) and I was thinking how different this year is from last year. Being cheerful is the only way you can get through it. So when I found out last year that I had cancer it was quite a blow. I had already done that I didn't need to be humbled again. So we scheduled it in, dropped some classes, got some work off, and set out to smile our way through. 

The rule in our family is that you get 3 days of sad then you have smile. This year as I think of the exhausting year last year I can only say I am glad I don't have to do anything like that again for a while. My life isn't going to be “easy” from here on out, I know that. But the things I've been through will help me out. 

We can't avoid trials in life, we will all be pushed to our limits, but with faith in God and family surrounding you nothing is impossible. 

I'm glad I'm a cancer survivor. I'm glad it left its mark on me.

Greg Andrus

Scanning and Smiling - Tornado Lessons

   As I drove away from my beloved home in Washington, a very rare tornado hit my little town of Battle Ground!  As a general rule, tornadoes do not happen in Washington.   The sky was very black, there was thunder and that sense of impending "severe weather."  Mark hurried the girls and I out the door, into our van and on our way.  We didn't even have time to be sad.

Tornado in Battle Ground, WA

   Mark and David were staying an extra day so that David could attend school - besides the movers were still there.  David was able to see the tornado from his school window.  It was  good one, toppling trees up to 3 feet in diameter.  As far as I can tell, our van missed it by about two minutes and one mile.
Another historic tornado welcomed us to Texas.  Dallas has never had a tornado in December, but here it was!  Our family sat on our patio that evening watching a beautiful electrical storm.  Our phones suddenly gave us a tornado warning.  We weren't sure what to think of this.  A few minutes later the tornado sirens went off and we decided to go inside - stepping outside occasionally to feel the warm wind and hear the thunder.   ( I really, really enjoy thunder and lightning.)
   I was unpacking boxes in my office when the wind and rain outside became very loud.  I think that this is when the tornado must have hit.  It wasn't until we began to get texts and calls from family and friends checking on our safety that we realized just how close we were and how destructive this category 4 tornado had been.

Finding our niche

   Lesson One - Had we taken these tornado warnings seriously enough?  No.  We do have an area under our stairs which appears to be reinforced and we have left it mostly empty for this type of emergency... but we weren't there.  We have come out of this with an increased realization that we must be better prepared - emergency kits and even more so - all of those important papers that we keep meaning to organize, scan, store in a secure spot, etc.
   Two weeks later we still haven't done these things!  What is it that makes us procrastinate something so important?
   Better lesson - what other warnings do we receive and not act upon?  I am think of personal items - perhaps a warning from a doctor about the need to change certain habits.  Maybe we read a book showing us how to improve a relationship or a talent and we feel those stirrings to follow up on the advice.  Most importantly - what about spiritual warnings that come as a response to our study and prayer?  Do we recognize them and still not act?
I am thinking that to be the type of person I most want to be will mean acting on all of these types of warnings....
   I won't type more about that.  However, I think it would be a healthy use of time to make a list of some of these unheeded warnings - perhaps each day we could check just one of them off.  I know I would feel better and BE better...  Yikes, now I am planning to post this for anyone to read I am feeling much more accountable.   So I will be specific - I will gather, scan and file a stack of important papers.  That will be first on my list.  If I like the way it feels (I know I will), I will come up with another item.

This fireplace and clock
stopped me in my tracks

   Lesson Two - As I walked this morning I enjoyed the quiet time to myself and the peaceful neighborhood.  Suddenly I recalled the sights of last weekend when my family went to help with the cleanup of a home devastated by the tornado.  This neighborhood (of brick homes) in the city of Rowlett was like a war zone.  Tears filled my eyes as we parked and walked to our destination.  Sobered.  That was the word I use to describe my feelings.  That is the same word I heard from many others.
I am often frustrated when I experience the beauty of nature on a hike or at the beach and I want to share it with others.  Photographs never convey the true beauty, probably because it is more than what  our eyes are seeing - I guess beauty is a feeling as well.  It is the whole experience.  Likewise, images on the television cannot duplicate the feelings of walking through this devastation.  We can see and take photos, but the feelings that are there permeate our souls.

Some brick homes are entirely gone!

   As first we didn't really know how to help.  Mark and David found their way into the home and helped salvage personal items to bring outside.  The girls and I helped to pack these items to be taken to a new home.  There were many, many volunteers - all anxious to help.  Each person or group found their niche and together we accomplished a lot.  Young men carried our full boxes to the front yard to be hauled away.  Groups of men came from yard to yard to take large debris and put it onto piles.  A woman (bless her) brought a large bin -house to house- of individually wrapped beef tacos to share.

Taco Break

So, as I walked this morning in peace and reflected on what was happening across the lake I reflected on personal lives.  It was foggy and the homes I passed appeared serene, but I don't know what goes on inside those homes.  People we pass in public are generally well groomed and well mannered, but what is happening in their lives and in their hearts?
   We don't have to search very hard to understand that society is full of personal trial and devastation.  On a brighter note, I also believe there are many, many "volunteers" who are willing to help.  If we get out there amongst our friends, neighbors, family and associates (and even strangers), we can all find our niche - and like the tornado volunteers - we can accomplish a lot.
I propose that the best way to start is with a smile and a kind word.  I also propose that the best place to start is within our own homes.
   Well - this blog post has just spilled out of my mind and has developed a life of its own - prompting me to heed a little warning I have felt... that it is important for me to smile at my family members.

And that is all that I am going to say about this today....  I have to get busy scanning and smiling!

Angels Bearing Boxes

Prayers are answered.
First of all - our great news for a cancer-free Christmas!  Greg's PET scan results finally are back and he is declared 3 months cancer free!!  Such a relief!!

Trying to clean out the panty
I used up all of my flour and
fed the troops for the day!

Now about those angels - Yesterday was a busy day at my house.  My dear friend, Nina, and her daughter drove from Oregon to assist me in packing up my house.  They are - obviously - a few of those angels.  There were more angels who were unanticipated -- almost not recognized for who they truly were.
I begin my day with morning prayer.  Yesterday, in anticipation of packing, I prayed that we would have energy, be able to focus, get a lot done and that all would go smoothly... or something like that.  I had purchased about twenty boxes (in addition to what I already had) from Home Depot to see us through the day.

Three boxes of boxes

We began, we worked hard, and after several hours we had filled almost all of our boxes.  It was early afternoon and I received a text from Sherry - her neighbor had just given her several U-Haul boxes for us!  Hooray - we sent our daughters to retrieve them and kept on working.  This definitely made a difference in what we were able to accomplish.  We took about 20 minutes to eat a quick dinner (we found a half-bag of chips and salsa --- we didn't want to stop to cook - and, uh... we packed the kitchen).  Nina was thinking that they would soon head home when we heard the doorbell.  There stood Aparicia with three boxes full of boxes.  Our excitement was tempered by our realization that we had a few more hours of work ahead of us... but really, as time went on, we were simply in awe of the way that these boxes had appeared just as we needed them.  Aparicia brought it to our attention - when we explained that her boxes were here just in time she said that we obviously has angels looking out for us.  She knew that I needed boxes (which she usually gets me from her work) - but she had none yesterday.  However, she went in to work to attend a CPR class.  As she left the building she saw all of these boxes, sitting and waiting just for us!
We pondered these simple events over the last few hours of the evening.  Nina had arrived at 10:30 a.m. - she left at 8:30 p.m.  We worked for ten hours without stopping and were only able to do so because our sweet friends arrived, unanticipated, with supplies at the moment they were needed.
This is an incredibly obvious answer to my prayer.  As I reflected on those boxes today I realized something else.  Both Sherry and Aparicia had made specific offers of help with packing.  I would not hesitate to call on either of them to do so.  I think it is because their hearts were open to service that they were placed in a position to be able to help in such a way.

We added another 50+ boxes

Boxes.  They may seem a small thing.  It was no small thing.  This is an example of a Tender Mercy from the Lord.  It was a reminder that He cares about all aspects of our life.  It is another reminder to me that our move to Texas is a blessing and that we are being watched over, cared for and protected.  I didn't know to pray for boxes, but I did pray for help.  Boxes on my doorstep reminds me that prayers are answered and we have angels, both seen and unseen, looking after us.

Thanksgetting?? No!!!

It's Thanksgetting!  This is what I heard when I was put on hold during a phone call with Verizon this week.  My stomach just felt sick as I realized what they were saying.  ThanksGETTING??  Ugh.  Disgusting.
Last year was the first time I had heard of shopping on Thanksgiving - we were in  Utah and while driving our sons back to their apartments we passed two Walmarts that could be seen from the freeway.  The parking lots were completely full and there were police officers with flashing lights to keep the peace.  I couldn't believe it! - People couldn't take a day off from shopping??
I am not a shopper, though I do love a great deal!  I do not, however, venture out on Black Friday.  It sounds like a nightmare to me.  I do enjoy stories from my friends of their adventures and bargains... I just do not wish to join them.
I certainly Thanksgiving as a day to be with family and friends, and to eat good food.  After hearing the Verizon ad I thought that I might focus too much on the food and not enough on the giving of Thanks.
My sister posted this yesterday:

And this is what stands out to me:

~ all business and labor be suspended after 10 o’clock 

~people assemble at their respective places of worship and instruction and devote the day and evening to holy praise, and prayer, and patriotic song and story

~ that the young may be inspired with lofty purpose

~ many may feely bestow from their abundance material aid to the few among us who are in need

~Christian charity and brotherly love may ever abide as the chief cornerstone of the Commonwealth

There is nothing here about GETTING!!

We had 27 people at our home yesterday.  Several family members and dear friends - and as my nephew offered a blessing on the food ~ I felt so grateful for each of them that I was very near tears. (Whew, that would have spoiled a few appetites.)  I have everything to be thankful for - and I feel it deeply... yet I did not even approach the ideals that are spelled out in this 1889 proclamation.  Nevertheless it was an incredible evening - there are so many people on the planet that I love so much!

I have nothing more to say on this matter.  

Thankful for potluck also!
Good home cooked food!!

We ended up with 17 pies!
Another reason to be
grateful!

Thankful for those who joined us!

Christmas Without Cancer? Perhaps...

What would Christmas be without cancer?

That was Greg's response.
My statement had been, "Well, if it does turn out to be something, at least the timing is good, with time off of school, etc."
"Well, yes, what would Christmas be without cancer?"

   Three months post-chemo meant MRIs and blood work for Greg this week.  Mercifully, he didn't tell me about all of this until the day he was headed to Salt Lake City.  It is not that I worry excessively, but it does mean feeling a pit in my stomach, or an extra weight on my shoulders until I hear all is clear. A hovering uneasiness is probably the best way to describe it.  MRI on Tuesday with clear results on Wednesday.  Blood work on Wednesday with low numbers back on Thursday.  Then Friday morning came, and in the middle of the off-to-school rush I received a call asking for Greg.  It is rare to get a phone call for him and it is usually the hospital scheduler calling our number by mistake, but this voice sounded intelligent and kind, so I found a quiet spot to hear his message.  This kind, intelligent voice belonged to Greg's oncologist in Utah.  His MRI had be re-read by Dr. So-and-So, the best reader of abdominal films, and a suspicious spot had been identified.
Friends who read of this account are probably letting out a low moan, similar to the one I shared with Dr. W---.  (I almost met this doctor after Greg's surgery, but didn't.  We think that he believes my mother is Greg's mom because she accompanied him on several visits... a bit awkward because he thinks he knows to whom he is speaking. - irrelevant -)
   There is a good chance that this spot is scar tissue.  Between moving a large piece of colon a few months ago and removing his right rectus abdominus muscle five years ago, there could obviously be a little bit of scarring.  This is what we are counting on... they will be calling to schedule a PET scan and hopefully it happens soon... If there is something that needs to be removed, we are praying that surgery will take care of it and he can be spared another round of chemotherapy.
   A few nights ago I was praying and was just overcome by feelings of love from my Father in Heaven. It was so real, it was like a hug.  I knew again who I truly am - his daughter.  My experiences here on Earth are for my learning.  He wants us to be strong, to have courage... and the miracle is that he is there to provide it for us if we look to him and seek his help.  It was a beautiful experience, and the next morning the doctor called.  We are hopeful that this spot is just scar tissue, but it is comforting to know that if there is a fresh trial to face - the God of the Universe knows us, loves us and is on our side!!!

And... the timing is good.  Greg will be home for Christmas, and what is Christmas without cancer?

Actually very few of my Christmases have been associated with cancer.  I just typed up a few stories - none of them are new:

   First Cancer Christmas was 1990.  Mark had a large bone tumor removed from his femur that summer.  The weakened bone then fractured while he was bowling, but it was so high on his leg that it could not be set without a body cast.  We had managed to borrow a wheelchair to get him to his final exams for the semester, but we were just newlyweds and determined to go back to our parents' homes in California for Christmas.  What a trip - over an hour to get him from his bed and into our car.  I drove on snow-packed roads from Provo to St. George.  We were about the only car brave enough to be there, and I just followed my dad's instructions to get my speed and not slow down.  Mark was in considerable pain but would occasionally try to stretch back with the long-armed snow scraper to wipe the back window of our little Dodge Colt which has defrost issues.  It wasn't so painful for him to help clear off the front windshield.  We had the necessary equipment to ensure that he never had to get out of his seat and I just drove for all I was worth - it is twelve hours on a good day.  We pulled into his parent's driveway and etched on my mind is the image of his father and brother, Danny, coming from the house to extract him from his seat and carry him indoors.  What a relief to be with family who loved us and wanted to take care of us.
   What year was it that he had the parotid gland tumor removed from his face? Maybe seven or eight years ago.  Was that Christmas?  I can't recall, but it was during a huge snow storm through which I had to get myself home to the kids when they decided to keep him overnight.  The surgery had taken many hours longer than expected and it was late when I got home.  Then back through the snow to retrieve him in the morning.  We laugh now when we remember how he called me early in the morning to come and help him because the nurses weren't doing just what he thought he needed... It's a good thing our children are brave because they have spent a lot more time in hospital beds than their dad.
   There was the magical Christmas of 2010 when we all gathered in Greg's hospital room and had a special visit from Santa Claus who came bearing several gifts for each child in the family.  How wonderful that Santa could find us so far from our home.
   2012 - Mark's father passed away (due to cancer) just before Christmas.  We were able to use our time off during the break to go and be with family.
   2013 - We had just learned about Jackie's parotid tumor and Natalie's brain tumor, but the plan was to watch them for changes.  It was the 26th of December when the doctor called from his family vacation in Florida to let us know that they had somehow missed the large chordoma on Jackie's spine - I guess the page had been missing from the report.  Yet as soon as they found out the wheels began to roll very quickly to remove this horrible tumor.  Even then it took a couple months for all the necessary testing and precautions... I have always thought that this was a sweet blessing in timing - we were blessed with a peaceful Christmas before the storm.
   2014 - Great Christmas to have all of our children home together - may be the last time we ever have just the eight of us alone!  With all of the good times was that same "hovering uneasiness" about Greg's health.  He weighed less than all of us, except perhaps Kimberly... and, of course, it was colon cancer - surgery in January and six months of chemotherapy.
   2015 - ??? (Well, we are moving two weeks before Christmas, so it's not like we don't have a little added stress already.)