Playing, Praying & Pupusas

When I say that my husband, Mark, is a fantastic dad, I really mean it.  He really puts his heart into parenting and very much enjoys being with the children.  One example:  He travels a lot and used to really enjoy the perks/status that came with airline loyalty.  A few years ago he decided that rather than racking up the airline mileage points, he would make a habit of taking the first available flight (regardless of airline) and thus increasing (even by a few hours), the time spent at home with the family.  Just like he enjoys airline perks, he also enjoys appreciates his creature comforts (hot showers, good mattress, home cooked food).  However, most people that know him think that he really likes camping because he is found on almost every scout campout or hike that occurs.  What he really likes is being outdoors with his kids. He is in the thick of planning his third 50 mile hike - he has a lot of other ways that he could spend a week this summer - but he has three sons and that last one is turning 14 so off they go (taking with them several other boys and a few more dads).
Last week he decided that it had been too long without a Dad/children camping trip and when he asked who was interested he got three very enthusiastic volunteers.  Our little corner of the world has experienced a deluge for many days, and it is not exactly warm.  Natalie's tennis match meant that they would get to the campsite just moments before dark, and she had to be back, showered and dressed up to be at her choir practice at 9:00 in the morning.  Camper? No.  Tent? No.  They would be sleeping in the rain with only a pop-up shade cover thing.  Yes, four of them...with two cots for the girls and two hammocks (one atop the other) in between.  Yet they were all excited to be a part of this adventure - why?  They love to be with him as much as he loves to be with them.
Another outcome of this adventure?  Jackie and I had a night to ourselves... not a very long one, obviously.  We also went to the tennis match and then hurried off to watch a movie.  We chose Heaven is Real which tell the story of a darling little boy who has a near-death experience when he is four years old.  We both really liked it - anyone who has seen the movie will understand that we came right home and looked up YouTube videos about Akiane, the painter...  There is one part of the story that I keep reflecting on.  The boy's father is a popular pastor in a small town, and he is a very good man.  He is also a good father.  What I found to be so interesting is that fact that he wanted to believe his son's story, but this ultimately meant he had to discover his own beliefs about Heaven.  I was wondering how a man could go into the ministry without first questioning whether or not he really believed in Heaven?  I think that it is best to question our beliefs, figure it out for ourselves, and then be as ready as we can be for times when we need that knowledge to get through what life has to offer.
The cool thing to me is that we can actually take our questions to the Source!  In the King James version of the Bible we can read in James 1:5,  "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him. "
So - it must be very natural and good that us to have questions.  You cannot really get an answer if you do not have a question.  Perhaps the things holding us back the most are the effort it takes and the fear of not getting an answer (or recognizing when one comes).  This scripture guarantees us an answer - this might come through another person, information you run across, situations that arise over time, experience, good strong feelings of inspiration, etc.  All scriptures are full of stories of individuals and their relationship with the Lord.  Since God does not change, this means that we can all have a relationship with the Lord also... but like any relationship, it takes both of us contributing - not just a one-time-feel-good experience.

6th grade - not a good
time to move!

Hmmm, those were a lot of ideas to explore in just a few sentences.  As I have thought of the father in this movie, I have considered my own relationship with the Lord.  I began to pray in earnest when I was just 12 years old.  I was preparing to enter junior high school and was excited to take certain elective classes, and I had  some really good friends, so my future looked bright.  About this time my parents told us that we would be moving to a small town in Colorado and I was not pleased...at all; really... not at all.  Though I did not say my personal prayers, I had been taught to pray.  Now, here I was in need of comfort and my training told me to turn to the Lord... I still recall being worried that "it would not work"... nevertheless I began to pray each night.   I knew that my dad loved me, so I knew how it would feel for my Heavenly Father to love me as well.  I do not remember anything marvelous or extraordinary, but I did begin to be comforted.  I prayed all through high school and felt my relationship with the Lord begin to develop.  After graduation I moved to an apartment in California prior to attending college.  I was 18 and far from home and wanted reassurance that my Father in Heaven was aware of me - again I was afraid that "it wouldn't work" - but it did and this time it was marvelous; the kind of experience I can still reflect back on when my faith gets shaky.  So... I have learned, through prayer, that the Lord knows me personally and will comfort me.   Through prayer I have learned many other things - particularly help with school, guidance in parenting, all those things I need to do but are beyond my own capacity.  --Through prayer I learned to ask for forgiveness and for the strength to forgive others ---Through prayer I have learned that we can bless the lives of others --I probably know this most powerfully because my family and I have been the recipient of so many prayers...
Nevertheless, like the father in the movie - I am not sure I am prepared for all circumstances that come my way.
I think that this takes a lifetime of practice!
The topic of prayer has occupied my personal thoughts this weekend, so what a surprise to see Jackie's Facebook post on Sunday:

"Trust me, learning to pray for little things
lets you know you can pray for bigger things."
Jackie (on Facebook)

That made my day.
On the way home from school this morning I was listening to a show about Religion & Death.   There was a lady speaking who practices a form of Buddhism and is also a grief counselor.  She says that one of the first questions that she asks an individual is whether or not they are spiritual.  She says that this is an entirely different questions than "Are you religious?"   If you ask about religion, people will respond as to what church they attend, or to which they belong, and how well they live by its precepts.  Many religious people are not actually spiritual.  I count on my religious leaders being spiritual.  I consider myself to be spiritual, and I am glad of it.

Lots of toppings - I also really like
them doused with lime.

On a lighter note - we had our first attempt at homemade pupusas yesterday.  Yummy!  Our friends,  came over when they heard what we were up to.  I had never done it so I required everyone to make their own.  For filling I had pork and cotija cheese and Aparicia (from Panama) brought some of her homemade beans.  On top we had fresh green salsa (made my way so it wasn't too spicy hot) and I invented a pear salsa.  I also found a recipe for curtido - the sour cabbage topping.  Our first attempts to be authentic were rather messy, but then we discovered it was easier to make two tortillas and sandwich them around the filling.  I liked it so much that tonight we will make some fresh tortillas and finish off the leftovers... I think that I will post this later because we won't have enough to share...
Lessons learned:
Pupusas made the traditional way are messy (because we don't know what we are doing), but they actually taste better than the easier,pre-smashed, sandwich style.  I think that this is because of the thicker masa.
 There is power in prayer - especially if prayer is a daily habit, so that when I need answers or help, it is a natural response.
Both children and dads benefit from time away together.  Those fun times together build relationships in ways that don't happen when Mom is there trying to keep everyone safe and comfortable.  Mark is such a good sport!!!

A Jelly Bean in the Brain

23 April 2014

Given the choice of Jolly Rancher flavors, I usually choose watermelon.  Watermelon is also my favorite Jelly Belly flavor... well, one of my favorites; there are a lot of good Jelly Belly flavors to choose from.  What a surprise today to learn that my daughter, Natalie, prefers sour apple over watermelon in both candies!  Yuck.
Our conversation came in response to our visit with her neurosurgeon.  In describing her brain tumor he said, "It is small, like a jelly bean."  Later we asked her what color she would choose - thus the shocking disclosure that she would choose sour apple over watermelon.  (In all fairness, I do really like those apple suckers that have caramel on the outside.)
Here are some things that we have learned.   Several years ago this same surgeon had another teenage Li Fraumeni patient with a tumor very similar to Natalie's.  The biopsy was inconclusive and they opted to not operate.  Six or eight years later she was back - the tumor was much larger, stage 3, and the surgery was much more complicated.  She lost some motor function, etc.

"A" marks the spot.  It is on the right side -
looking from the feet up

It is really the Li Fraumeni Syndrome that has everyone concerned and we all agree that it needs to come out.  It isn't such a rush and will probably be scheduled in June or later.  Scheduling is a bit tricky because they need a particular surgical suite with room for lots of equipment and computers.  It sounds like the computer will do a lot of the work - our doctor is the chief pediatric neurosurgeon and has done well over 4,000 surgeries and over 1,500 of them are craniotomies.  He was confident, likable and seemed to have good judgement - we feel that we are in good hands.
How am I feeling about this new little jelly bean in our lives?  Since we have known about it for some time - today I am feeling relieved.  Scheduling surgery a couple months out feels like I have some space to breathe.  The risk of complications is low at this point.  Recovery will probably include one night in ICU and the possibility of coming home the next day, with a very short time until  Natalie is back to normal.  Everything felt like good news today.

A double treat to have Dad come with
us to the doctor.  First that he is in town
with time to join us and second that he
bought us our favorite lunch.

Dr. Selden was also intrigued to hear that Jackie had grown a chordoma - and very surprised to hear that it was in her thoracic region.  We are so used to that ol' tumor that we forgot it was so unusual.

Earlier I asked Natalie is she had anything that she wanted to share - She didn't.  Now she seems to have changed her mind:

Pupusa de Carne Asada
with Horchata!  Yummy.

This is Natalie. I consider myself fairly familiar with trials (especially physical) and in my short career I have formed a theory/thesis. Call it whatever you will but I call it the three days rule. When something horrible happens to either you or a loved one you have three days. The first day is spent freaking out. By the second day it begins to sink in. This is the day to cry and be made at the world, its the hardest. But the third day is the most important. Day three is recovery. Stop crying, breath deeply and get on with your life. It doesn't take the pain away or bring back someone who is lost but it helps to move on and face life, which you must do no matter what.  Just keep swimming:)

4-24-14

When I was twelve I learned to get through dental visits by sitting down and shutting my eyes.  I open them when they are done.  I just got back from having my teeth cleaned - with my eyes shut.  As I thought there wishing I was someone else, I imagined that their sharp instruments were directed into my brain rather than at my gums.... ugh.  It gave me a fresh perspective on the courage my children have displayed.
Last night I was feeling the heaviness of it all - and waiting in the car for a child - so I began to mindlessly wander through Facebook.  My friend, Laurie, had recently posted this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt:  You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face..You must do the thing you think you cannot do." 
I remembered the day we learned that the odds were highly in favor of our children experiencing cancer.  I knew I could not face that - it filled me with a sort of horror.  We are facing it, and it isn't horrible.  Well, sort of horrible; but the strength, courage and confidence I see building in my children bring a real beauty and joy to our lives --- go figure.  I am grateful.

Waiting to be hidden and eaten!

A few aspects of my life tell me things are not normal - I came home from the dentist craving cream of wheat and ate three bowls!  That has never happened before - when I was stressed over Jackie I ate bags of chocolate.  We had Easter dinner the week before Easter, colored eggs two days after Easter and have still not had our traditional chocolate bunny hunt.   I have stepped over the Frozen DVD for several days without putting it away (or asking anyone else to put it away), and it doesn't bother me.  Obviously I am stepping over a few other things as well...starting to bother me.  When such heavy focus is needed in one aspect of our lives, we cannot always address these other issues.  Eventually we will eat the chocolate bunnies and pick up the DVD...
 However, I really don't like things growing inside of my child's brain - I am so happy that it will soon be out!

Kidnapped, Grounded, and What About Shoes?

22 April 2014
"Prepare to be impulsive, I have a plan."  This was the text I sent to Mark a week or two ago - yes, he needs to prepare for spontaneity.  It works best that way... With plenty of time to sit at the hairdressers, I was contemplating what I could do to help my sweet husband decrease his stress.  Jackie was encouraging me to just kidnap him and get away for a couple of days.  Fun?  Yes.  Also a lot of work, and we would have to spend a day or two just adjusting to the shock it would give him.  So... I decided to give him some advance notice.  A couple of hours later he was ready to hear my plan... I proposed a quick trip to use up a few more of our airline miles - I had been searching during my hair appointment and found a direct flight from Portland to Kauai.  I found a Marriott (hotel points) that was away from the crowds... so after he had a little time to think it over, I was prepared to run in to my computer and make the arrangements - all in time for me to leave town and go to Tennessee.

Kalalau Trail - it was so hot
I was down to my
last layer very quickly...

Getaway times... hard to find - but his work always slows down after April 15 and the kids had no school on the 18th.  Jackie agreed to drive - she is just getting back behind the wheel and is wary.  Mark had put together a boy scout campout for the weekend, but there are plenty of capable men who were able to step up.   He was already going to be gone (camping) on Saturday when a small army of men were planning to come and chop wood at our house; and it wasn't until later that I realized I should have been home or organized the girls to have refreshments ready for them (oops).  The bigger oops was Easter --who put it on the 20th?  I had no idea - we had to laugh on Saturday... what kind of parents go off and leave their kids on Easter?  Parents who need to think only about each other for a couple of days.
Great times together.  Kauai is beautiful, we were both in awe.  We love being together and agree that no one else would ever want to vacation with us... we just have our own kind of fun.  Primarily that meant hiking and "yelping" good places to eat.  Mark was not allowed to bring any form of technology... it took about a day for him to stop worrying about that!  I brought phone/iPad along for emergency texts from kids, GPS, and Yelp!  We love to find little hole-in-the-wall places with great food.  Our favorite this time around was a little taco truck selling Al Pastor tacos - we both agreed they are the tastiest we have ever had.  That is really saying something because we have been on the hunt for excellent street tacos for about 25+ years.  Hmmm, I should blog about our street taco experiences sometime.

Tacos Al Pastor
just needed pineapple/cilantro

The most important part of choosing these dates to get away is that Natalie's neurosurgeon appointment is on Wednesday, April 23rd.  Hovering for weeks, it is finally time to learn what is in store for our daughter.  The plan?  We have no idea.  As simple as "Let's watch the brain lesion for a couple more months," perhaps a simple surgery, maybe a complicated surgery followed by chemotherapy???  We just do not know.  There is simply no basis for us to feel worry or relief until we talk to the surgeon.   No answers, but an always hovering anxiety.
Ah, well, Kauai was beautiful and we had few worries.  So nice.  Well - for the record - I will just say that there was another worry which popped up the evening before we left.  Some lab results came back (for someone else) - that are not too great... but as usual, we cannot worry until we are told there is a reason... so for now we will just concentrate on mysterious brain lesions.
The title of my blog today says "Grounded" and this refers to me.  I have successfully emptied out all of our airline miles and hotel points.  There will be no travel for me for quite some time... and that is excellent news.  It is out of my system for the time being and nothing sounds more wonderful than sleeping in my own bed and hanging out with the kids every night.  I love being home.  Truth be told... I didn't have quite enough hotel points for Kauai and thought that was fine until the old Price-of-Food-in-Hawaii Shockwave hit me... so I guess I am just plain grounded from everything for awhile.

Green Topsiders for travel

What about shoes?  I am the queen of practical, comfortable, don't-draw-attention-to-myself shoes.  It is always a shock to walk into an airport and see the myriads of ladies who do not agree with me on this point - who would travel in bling-encrusted 4 inch heels?  I just don't get it.  Initially I got those old feelings of "Yikes!  Here I am again looking like I just rolled off the farm."  There is, however, advice I give my daughters when they have to go to youth camps, dances, etc.  There will always be girls and women who stand out and intimidate the rest of us; but look around and find out that most people are very normal, just like us.  It helps.  Besides, I would rather be in the normal crowd (even if we are hayseeds) - they seem so much more friendly.  One of those oft-repeated life lessons.  The lesson that invariably coincides is this; most of those intimidating women actually turn out to be wonderful friends.

What a bargain??

Another lesson I learn over and over (should learn over and over) is to wear the right shoes for the occasion.  I knew we would be hiking, but I also wanted to travel light so that we could carry-on our bags (a surprise for Mark).  As a result, I figured I would leave my tennis shoes at home (crazy! I take them everywhere) and just bring the Teva sandals.  I had no idea that hiking on Kauai would involve such steep and slippery slopes.  It seriously took us four hours to go four miles!  I was using a walking stick and battling a blister by the time we came off the mountain.  That night our GPS failed us as we tried to find a shoe store (I thought I could pick up some new shoes and then give them to a daughter).  Instead we ended up at Costco and they were clearing out some men's running shoes for just $16.88.  The smallest pair was still a size too large, but we took them.  I felt like Bozo the Clown on our next hike, but David was pleased to get a new pair of shoes for a souvenir.

Well, I left my computer to drive my children around this afternoon.  I have many more thoughts on shoes, Yelp, Kauai, and traveling with my favorite person... but that will have to wait.  The good news from it all is that when Mark took his bloood pressure each day it was 120/80's.  Maybe we should move?

Endings

My mom sobbed as we drove away from the car dealership in a brand new car.  Why?  Even with the excitement of a new vehicle, we were leaving behind our old car - and that can be really sad!  Actually, even at a young age, I totally got it.  I didn't cry, but I felt her pain.  We were leaving behind something that had served our family well and helped create memories.
I love the anticipation and excitement of change... and I really dislike change.  I guess I tend to be satisfied with where I am in life - while at the same time I love to plan and look forward to the new and unknown.  Contentedly adventurous.  Adventurously content.
I recently heard a talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf who talked about being grateful in our circumstances - I totally get that too!   The concept of "endings" was also discussed - he was speaking of endings much more serious and life-changing than trading in an old car, but I was still intrigued.   This next line is what really caught my ear - and the following statements were also interesting.

There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.

Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless¹³ and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng

So I was thinking about my resistance of endings - even though I enjoy where I am and what is ahead.  Kimberly's 12 year old trip was great - the only drawback for me was that I was simply not able to sleep well for a variety of reasons.  On the final night as I lay there not sleeping - I thought of endings.   Ten years - six 12 year old trips...  I was tempted to be sad about it, tempted to resist the ending... Fortunately, time has taught me to think otherwise.  My temptation to indulge myself in the sadness of the sixth and final vacation was overcome by my emotion of rejoicing in six amazing vacations shared with six of my favorite people on Earth!  I freed myself to think of Kimberly growing up and having new adventures, as her siblings before her.

I used to be so worried that summer was was coming to an end and so uptight about the oncoming gray skies of winter that I forgot to enjoy the beautiful autumn!  I have really worked on that the past several years and now I relish every summertime moment while it lasts... I find deep satisfaction in those amazing autumn afternoons (my new favorite season)... and I am still working on those gray skies, but they are improving.

Summer days that end--- Cars that get worn out---   Sixth and final 12 year old trips.  I feel like I want to hang on to life's wonderful moments... and yet I cannot, and as it turns out, I don't really want to.  I cherish them, and move on, and before I know it - there are new life moments to cherish.  I know that there are endings ahead for me (and everyone) that are too awful to anticipate.  Perhaps my practice will small things will pay off.  Hmmm, as I am typing I am thinking that the big ending I don't want to consider is death... and yet that is the ending that is not really an ending at all.  My own death holds no fears for me - but others.... ugh, I don't want to think about that.  Someday I will have to come back and read about how brave I was letting summer go... ugh again... 

Tennessee - the great Smoky Mountains - was our 12 year old trip destination.  Her first reaction was the same as everyone else, "What's in Tennessee?"  Hillbillies of course.  First a day of opulence at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC - also a day of backwoods living at Cades Cove, etc. in the Smoky Mountains.  A fun day of roller coasters at Dollywood in between.  Kimberly is a fantastic traveling companion - ready for adventure, no complaints, fun ideas, good conversation, smart as a whip - definitely a keeper.  Motherhood is the best!!!

Twelve Year Old Trips - Mystery Location

Kayleen, my sister-in-law, first told me about 12 yr-old trips when my children were much younger.  I don't know if she invented the idea or if she had heard about it from someone else - but I knew it was something that I wanted to incorporate into our family culture.  The essence of the idea is that when a child turns 12, there will be a special trip planned for Mom and child - alone and having fun together for a couple days - a great opportunity to strengthen an important relationship as the child enters into teen years.
Tucked deeply into my mind and heart - the idea emerged again as Nathan neared his twelfth birthday.  Nathan loved US and world history - he had his heart set on someday going to Gettysburg and Normandy.  Normandy would have to wait (and is still waiting), but Mark and I were trying to figure out how he could see Gettysburg -- then we remembered the 12 yr-old trip!  I had to gird up my courage to fly about the country without Mark... and I did!  We continued the tradition as each child reached this milestone - free airline miles and hotel points have made it all very affordable!!  Here is a very short run down on five completed 12 yr-old trips with one on the way (how did they all get to be so grown up????)

5 yr old Yankee

 I should add that many other families and friends now have a similar tradition - sometimes elaborate and sometimes very simple.  One family chose to go with Mom at age 16.  Even a campout alone with Mom in the backyard would make a difference in a child's life.  I like the "Mom" idea because dads always get to be fun - this gives Mom a chance to let down her hair a little.
Here is a very short run down on five completed 12 yr-old trips; and one that is coming up very quickly...

Nathan - Pennsylvania- we presented him with a "golden ticket" inside a large candy bar.  We enjoyed a couple beautiful autumn days touring the Gettysburg battlefield and a quick jaunt into Amish country.  The Killer Angels was a book that helped me greatly understand more of the history.  I don't know if Nathan learned anything new--- but he was totally in his element, and we were both struck by the reverence we felt here.

Greg  - Ohio - his gift was a brochure on Cedar Point Amusement park with its many roller coasters of distinction.  It was SO cold that with the wind off Lake Erie it measured in the teens.  Many coasters were closed which worked out well - we had such fun on the carnival-type rides.  Locals wore down jackets and we were stuck with our little windbreakers.  Luckily our hotel was completely messed up with cold water in the hot tub and super warm water in the pool.  We had beautiful sunshine our second day which we spent touring Kirtland.

Jackie - New York - presented with a waterproof camera to represent Niagara Falls.  Such beautiful weather in October and no crowds to deal with.  We were captivated from the time we stepped out of our car and heard the roar of the water.  Wow!  What power we felt!  Another more peaceful power was felt in a beautiful grove of trees as our other adventure was spent in Palmyra.  Prior to catching our flight we took a quick tour of the mansion of George Eastman (KODAK) in Rochester.

Natalie - Pennsylvania - A new tradition began as we decided to not tell the location of the vacation until we were on our way.  She was headed to Hershey, PA so every few days prior to her trip I would leave Hershey Kisses under her pillow as a hint.  We began with an early morning hot air balloon ride over Amish country - it was years later before she confided how scary that had been for her (I loved it). That evening and the next day we played at HersheyPark - a very fun amusement park.  The mega outdoor store next to our hotel may have been her favorite stop!

Clever siblings!

David -  Colorado - He helped me plan a surprise birthday party for Greg, who in turn was planning a surprise party for David.  They were both surprised and David's hint was an adobe-style cake made by his siblings.  He was headed to Durango to tour Mesa Verde and Aztec Ruins as well as spending a day ziplining at Soaring Tree Top Adventures.  Mesa Verde was very hot and we had forgotten our water bottles which made for good water-seeking adventures.  "Soaring" was just amazing - I think there were 26 lines which became longer and more exhilarating as the day went on - ending with 1/4 mile stretch.  We wished it had gone on and on!

Kimberly - We leave tomorrow but the location is still unknown (to her).  We try to go to somewhat unusual locations (no Disneyland, Hawaii, etc.) that the will probably never be a family vacation destination.  Though no one has ever recognized their clues for what they are, her subtle clue this week has been that we pulled out our "Beverly Hillbillies" DVDs.  Perhaps tonight we will find the time to watch "Christy"... where are we going??

Plenty of Backbone Remains

Millions of women around the world gathered Saturday night to hear the Worldwide Women's Conference.  This year ages 8+ were invited and I enjoyed having my two younger daughters with me.  Kindness, love and support for one another were the themes that stood out for me - also the divine inheritance of women to care about other people.  Divine because we are daughters of God.  It was beautiful.  I couldn't help but think of all of the women who have been providing such beautiful service to our family in a multitude of ways.   It was also cold - we were not early enough to claim a comfortable, padded seat and ended up in the gym, sitting metal chairs.  Kimberly and I were both very cold and sat as close to one another as we could.  I took my scarf off my neck and made it into a shawl for her and we found my long maxi-skirt was able to cover both sets of legs.  This opportunity to cuddle with my 11 year old made me think of how I love my girls and of the day that I decided I wanted a daughter.
I was 9 months pregnant with my third child and was hoping for another boy.  With two amazing little boys I just wanted to fill my house with more!  (No - I did not know what I was having.  I have never, ever peeked at a present or tried to learn a surprise before its time... and with six kids I never took advantage of the ultrasound to learn if my baby would be a boy or a girl!)  Anyway, I stopped at a friend's home to drop something off; she came to the door with her 10 year old daughter.  They were so cute together - doing their housework or something.  As I drove away I was almost overcome with such a desire for a little girl of my own!  Happy Day when our baby turned out to be a girl!  Three boys and three girls was the final tally and I love them all!
Speaking of that little third baby girl - I can now write a follow-up on Jackie's situation because we spent the day (yesterday)in Portland at OHSU.  Not the entire day... we had planned to have two afternoon appointments, but one was moved to the morning.  This left us with several free hours and I knew that Jackie would never survive that long in a chair, so we headed to my friend Nina's house west of Portland.  She has good food and a soft couch.  I mention this so that I can include cute photos of her new baby goats....
Back to the hospital.  Everything looks GOOD!  Our thoracic surgeon was very impressed that Jackie has been off of narcotic pain meds for well over a week.  He drew us a picture of what her left lung now looks like.  It has a strange bump in the middle of it where it has filled in the space left by the missing vertebral bodies.  I   Otherwise her lungs are clear as well as the surrounding tissues.  They couldn't have been more pleased.

Our orthopedic doctor is always fun to visit.  His partner (an orthopedic "fellow") was also there.  He talked to us first and I asked him to demonstrate on a model of the spine just what they did.  That was helpful.  The two incisions are so interesting - we asked him just exactly how that worked.  At one point all four surgeons were working simultaneously.  Two working through the back incision and two working through the side.   Ouch!  He said it is certainly the most cool surgery he has ever seen.  At this moment our main surgeon walked in.  I told him that we were discussing how awesome the surgery had been.  He said it was absolutely a very cool surgery!  He pulled up the chest X-ray.  Wow..  - look for the part of the spine that looks like a bite has been taken out of it.  Ouch!
There had been a sliver of hope that Jackie's biopsy had been incorrect.  Everyone who looked at her case said a chordoma didn't usually grow quite as her had, besides the unusual location.  Certainly we were hoping that they were right - a benign tumor would have been great news.  The biopsy was correct - pathology shows a thoracic chordoma.  Still plenty of room for celebrating - its unusual growth simply means that Jackie's spine is still completely stable - most chordoma patients would undergo at least one other surgery for spine stabilization.   Margins were also wide enough that they feel confident about complete removal and, at least for the present, we will not be commuting to Seattle for proton radiation (hooray!!).
One more item of interest - apparently her tumor is now part of a research study and it is doing interesting things in "culture".  He told us it was growing in a way that they never do - we were on information overload and didn't quite take it all in.  As soon as we left we turned to each other and asked, "What exactly did he say the tumor was doing?"  Somewhere, there is a petri dish providing someone a little chordoma entertainment.  We only know this because they requested a blood draw for research and we spent some time running the correct paperwork back and forth (I figured I was faster than waiting for the system to work).  Hopefully they will keep our doctor updated and we can figure that out when we return in May.
Poor Jackie, we left the house after 8:00 and didn't get home until after 5:30.  This was her first time away from the house (aside from accompanying me on a couple of mom-taxi-trips).  We forgot to take Tylenol with us.  Fortunately her pain was minimal and a carton of chocolate milk on the way home brought her all the comfort she needed - she certainly slept well last night!