Painting and Painting and Painting and...

One year ago, around the first weekend of October, Mark and I drove for three days... arriving on Sunday night.  We drove his truck and hauled a small trailer with just enough possessions to give him a semblance of comfort in our new home... and painting supplies!

Monday morning in our new home - Mark donned a tie to begin his work at his new office, and I donned my lovely painting clothes.  I knew I had just one day in town and no form of transportation, so I began to make our new house into our new home.


Replacing the built-in bookshelves would be fun, but rather a silly expenditure when they are sturdy and functional.. but what is the deal with that dead space at the top?  Anyway - I had one day to work, and it was a day well spent!  These were now bookshelves that I could live with.

Everything in our house was brown and for many people it would be beautiful.  I appreciate the style, but it is not my own.  Note: Even the ceilings were brown!!  It was very much like living in a brown grocery bag!  Made me crazy...

My sweet husband lived alone for two months.  Whenever he was in town, he was painting.  He painted the walls and the ceilings in the three main living areas.  What a transformation!!

Most of our ceilings are still brown, though very few of our walls.  This is a huge project, but we are plugging away, little by little.  It didn't help that I was gone for eight weeks this summer!

When we bought our house we thought that the trim was a nice cream color.  When we painted the walls we discovered that it was more of a tan/almond.  Yuck.  So... we have begun that process as well.

We also thought that the kitchen cabinets were a creamy, antiqued color.  Painted walls turned them a sickly yellowish antiqued color.  I will post before/after kitchen photos soon.  I love it!

My entire upstairs is covered in drop cloths and masking tape.  Raising six kids has taught me to live in chaos and to me, it is worth the chaos!  I love the transformation.  I often stop whatever I am doing to go into our latest "project room" and just breathe deeply.  It is energizing!

This bathroom is still
 a work progress...

A coat of paint on the
mantle is a quick fix
until I come up with
another idea...

Spray paint and new globes
transformed our bathroom lights.

GIFT - Part 2

My poor, neglected blog...
I have not written for several months - or so it would appear.  Actually, I wrote a draft to follow up on my last entry on the topic:"Gift,"  This draft seems to have disappeared into cyberspace and somehow I don't feel like I can move on without addressing this topic one more time... yet my head is full of experiences and thoughts regarding Loving and Laughing and Learning while I live my Life.  I want to get them recorded, so here are a few more thoughts on "Gift" so that I can move on...

It was mid-June and we were only days away from closing escrow on our home in Washington.  A Gift came our way in the form of a disaster... a man who owns the 18 acres adjoining our 5 acres delivered this gift to our title company who then informed us.  It was a spurious lawsuit contesting a 5-10 foot section of property as well as several lies and false accusations.  We were stunned.  We agreed to a quick settlement - feeling rather sick because the lawsuit was so ridiculous... yet we wanted to complete the sale.  Unfortunately, the buyers freaked out and went looking elsewhere.  Fortunately we had only agreed to settle if the sale went through.  With a multitude of damages, we reluctantly filed a countersuit.  Ugh.

We were back at square one - the house back on the market, plenty of debt, and up to our eyeballs in legal issues.  Not where we wanted to be... and yet....

Experience has taught me that trials can help us to grow.  Trials can make us better people.  Trials can be a GIFT.  I took a breath and began to try to be grateful for this Gift and find the good.

I didn't have to look very far.  Within a week I felt that my marriage was stronger than ever.  My relationship with the Lord was more dear.  We had a fresh perspective on a number of things including our future and LIFE in general.
 Almost immediately I was able to use this "Gift" and this Washington property to bless the lives of family, friends and neighbors in completely different but very tangible ways.  All of these things brought me such joy - I see that I would not have wanted to miss these opportunities.
My gratitude for our Gift situation has become more sincere.  To be honest, it is indeed a trial and certainly weighs me down - yet I believe that it is a blessing.  We have already learned so much.  I believe that we are on this Earth to learn, grow and become better people.  It is not for us to dictate what a blessing actually is - would a life of ease and comfort cause us to grow or become better?  We may desire it, but if we truly desire to improve and be more than we now are... I have to think it will come primarily through trials.  Therefore I say, trials can be blessings, especially if you make the effort to express gratitude.  Even more difficult, don't wait until years down the road to see the good and find the gratitude.  Finding it while in the midst of the trial can lift that burden even while it is weighing you down.

Here is a video of our property in Washington.  I'm sure I've posted it before... but since I still own it... I am thinking I will always own it... and what a great vacation home!  You may also notice that there is plenty of forest around - and that the man who owns almost 200 acres of property in the county could stop worrying about .2 acres of mine!

ps - I just watched the video.  I must say I really miss my front porch and the bubbler in my front yard. Also my many amazing blueberry bushes, but mostly the porch and bubbler.  Wow - it is really pretty there!  My Texas friends will like to see that even before we moved here we were flying our Texas flag!

Tossed with Waves

  When I was young, I used to wonder if I would someday be required to walk on water like Jesus did. (I'm pretty sure I won't have to do that.)  It's one of those stories that really catches a child's attention.  Recently I was reading it again and I noticed something new.  He is walking, not only on water, but on a stormy sea!  

24 But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.

I hadn't realized that there were waves and a "contrary" wind.  It really does change the image.  So now, picture Peter.  He climbs out of a boat which is tossing about on these waves.  Nevertheless, he wants to be with Jesus and he walks toward him... amongst the storm and tumult!!!  It is really very impressive!  And then:

30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

It was when he "saw the wind boisterous" that he began to fear and sink.  The tumultuous waves must have been terrifying.  Peter was successful until he changed his focus from Christ to the wind and storm surrounding him.  Those waves had been there the whole time and Peter was aware of them because he had been out in the "the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves"

Certainly I am aware of many waves, tumult and storm swirling around me.  You cannot be alive today without being surrounded by tempest.  I guess that the question for me has become, "Where is my focus?"  There are certainly things that I do not need to spend my time worrying about - but the greatest, most personal storms DO need a lot of time and attention.  If your child is sick you do need to seek medical attention, if you are moving across the country you do need to pack your house, etc. etc. Then, in the middle of everything, we need to have a positive attitude.  We need to take care of the big things, and the everyday things, and help other people with their things....

 Sooo....  in order to keep our head above water, it would appear that the skill we all must be seeking is how to take care of everything needing care - while maintaining a focus on our Savior.  

I think that this will take a lifetime of practice.

In my life,  I tend to not get very far and then, like Peter, I become afraid and begin to sink.  Here is a beautiful lesson for us... since we all fear, we all begin to sink...

And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him

This scripture says IMMEDIATELY Jesus caught him.  He was right there and waiting... but go back one verse and see what immediately after what?

 ... he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

Peter cried out for help.... and Help was there.  (Matthew 14:24-31)

Go Outside and Play !!

   Mark moved to Texas 2 1/2 months before the rest of the family.  That same weekend another family from Washington moved to Texas.  Mark met them at church - three of their children match the ages of our three still at home.  How fun it has been to have such good friends already - our kids have a great time together - all of them laughing, talking, playing games, etc.
   Our two families have a lot in common.   One important characteristic of both families - we limit our children's away-from-the-home activities so that the family has recreational time together.  We both enjoyed living in Washington with all of the outdoor activities available.  Hiking, swimming, exploring the coast...    A few nights ago my friend looked at me and expressed her concern for how we will spend our summer hours in the heat and without the mountains, lakes and rivers to which we are accustomed.  That night I slept fitfully as I pictured a summer without Lewisville Park, Battle Ground Lake, Siouxon Falls, Moulton Falls...

I captured this on my
phone last August and
it should explain my
summertime anxiety

I loved walking at Lewisville
Park several times/week

  To know me is to know that one of my greatest dreams for my children came true when we moved to our five secluded acres.  We lived there almost 14 years and never watched a television station.   My kids played outdoors with their imagination - I love hearing them reminisce about their make-believe games.  It sounds like they all had a special spot in the woods where they could go to be alone.  I know I did.
  I have been very blessed to move to Texas with 2.3 somewhat secluded acres also!  My property is lined with trees on three sides and a neighbor with a pond on the other.  I am humbly grateful each day to have found this location!
   I just stepped outside to spray paint several picture frames.  Yes, it is a bit cold to be painting outdoors in January.  Nevertheless, those few minutes outside were exhilarating.  More so than sitting here, now, at my computer.

My kids built some sort of stone-
henge at our favorite beach,
Cape Lookout

This entire blog post was inspired by a friend's Facebook post which included this important video: Click Here  It is sobering to think what is happening with our current generation and what this means for the future!

This seems like a good time to transcribe a paragraph from a letter written by Mark in September of 1994!  It surfaced during the move. It is printed on a dot matrix printer and still has the paper-feed sides to it.  (We used to be better about writing letters to our families.) The setting is Aloha, OR.  We had just graduated from BYU and moved to the northwest.  Mark is telling everyone about the blackberries, the zoo, and other discoveries.  Then he writes this:

Our neighbor's pond in
Texas is beautiful

One of the best things we have done as a family is sell our TV.  I recommend this to everyone.  We do plan to buy a small portable 13 inch to use as a monitor for watching videos, but feel no urgency to do so.  You may ask how we fill the void of TV.  Well, there is no void, only freedom.  

As we drove away from WA,
one last stop at
Multnomah Falls.

   The lack of TV allows time to read books with the boys or play other games.  Corinne and I also enjoy reading.  For news we listen to the radio during the day.  This is much better because the radio takes time to discuss issues instead of just giving a headline.  I have access to computer databases at work and can print articles from all the major newspapers.  If there is an issue that we want to know more about we have a great information source.  The nicest part of not having a TV is that we have eliminated the negative influence in our home.  We no longer feel obligated to sit and watch all night long.  Instead we go for walks or just sit and talk to each other.  Again, I encourage all of you to move the TV out of the front room and into a closet only to be used occasionally.

I have been thinking, if this
doesn't sell I will have a great
summer vacation home!

In WA we kept this "TV"
under our stairs and pulled
it out to watch movies.

This was obviously before the internet was a part of our lives.  No one would have dreamed of smart phones, especially in the hands of children!  Mark was 28 when he wrote this.  As I read I am encouraged to think of new ways to cut back on technology.
Yesterday I talked with another mom who limits her kids' time with technology.  (It was her Facebook post.)  It is so refreshing, why is it so rare?!
Seriously - if you haven't watched that video... go back and click.

Scanning and Smiling - Tornado Lessons

   As I drove away from my beloved home in Washington, a very rare tornado hit my little town of Battle Ground!  As a general rule, tornadoes do not happen in Washington.   The sky was very black, there was thunder and that sense of impending "severe weather."  Mark hurried the girls and I out the door, into our van and on our way.  We didn't even have time to be sad.

Tornado in Battle Ground, WA

   Mark and David were staying an extra day so that David could attend school - besides the movers were still there.  David was able to see the tornado from his school window.  It was  good one, toppling trees up to 3 feet in diameter.  As far as I can tell, our van missed it by about two minutes and one mile.
Another historic tornado welcomed us to Texas.  Dallas has never had a tornado in December, but here it was!  Our family sat on our patio that evening watching a beautiful electrical storm.  Our phones suddenly gave us a tornado warning.  We weren't sure what to think of this.  A few minutes later the tornado sirens went off and we decided to go inside - stepping outside occasionally to feel the warm wind and hear the thunder.   ( I really, really enjoy thunder and lightning.)
   I was unpacking boxes in my office when the wind and rain outside became very loud.  I think that this is when the tornado must have hit.  It wasn't until we began to get texts and calls from family and friends checking on our safety that we realized just how close we were and how destructive this category 4 tornado had been.

Finding our niche

   Lesson One - Had we taken these tornado warnings seriously enough?  No.  We do have an area under our stairs which appears to be reinforced and we have left it mostly empty for this type of emergency... but we weren't there.  We have come out of this with an increased realization that we must be better prepared - emergency kits and even more so - all of those important papers that we keep meaning to organize, scan, store in a secure spot, etc.
   Two weeks later we still haven't done these things!  What is it that makes us procrastinate something so important?
   Better lesson - what other warnings do we receive and not act upon?  I am think of personal items - perhaps a warning from a doctor about the need to change certain habits.  Maybe we read a book showing us how to improve a relationship or a talent and we feel those stirrings to follow up on the advice.  Most importantly - what about spiritual warnings that come as a response to our study and prayer?  Do we recognize them and still not act?
I am thinking that to be the type of person I most want to be will mean acting on all of these types of warnings....
   I won't type more about that.  However, I think it would be a healthy use of time to make a list of some of these unheeded warnings - perhaps each day we could check just one of them off.  I know I would feel better and BE better...  Yikes, now I am planning to post this for anyone to read I am feeling much more accountable.   So I will be specific - I will gather, scan and file a stack of important papers.  That will be first on my list.  If I like the way it feels (I know I will), I will come up with another item.

This fireplace and clock
stopped me in my tracks

   Lesson Two - As I walked this morning I enjoyed the quiet time to myself and the peaceful neighborhood.  Suddenly I recalled the sights of last weekend when my family went to help with the cleanup of a home devastated by the tornado.  This neighborhood (of brick homes) in the city of Rowlett was like a war zone.  Tears filled my eyes as we parked and walked to our destination.  Sobered.  That was the word I use to describe my feelings.  That is the same word I heard from many others.
I am often frustrated when I experience the beauty of nature on a hike or at the beach and I want to share it with others.  Photographs never convey the true beauty, probably because it is more than what  our eyes are seeing - I guess beauty is a feeling as well.  It is the whole experience.  Likewise, images on the television cannot duplicate the feelings of walking through this devastation.  We can see and take photos, but the feelings that are there permeate our souls.

Some brick homes are entirely gone!

   As first we didn't really know how to help.  Mark and David found their way into the home and helped salvage personal items to bring outside.  The girls and I helped to pack these items to be taken to a new home.  There were many, many volunteers - all anxious to help.  Each person or group found their niche and together we accomplished a lot.  Young men carried our full boxes to the front yard to be hauled away.  Groups of men came from yard to yard to take large debris and put it onto piles.  A woman (bless her) brought a large bin -house to house- of individually wrapped beef tacos to share.

Taco Break

So, as I walked this morning in peace and reflected on what was happening across the lake I reflected on personal lives.  It was foggy and the homes I passed appeared serene, but I don't know what goes on inside those homes.  People we pass in public are generally well groomed and well mannered, but what is happening in their lives and in their hearts?
   We don't have to search very hard to understand that society is full of personal trial and devastation.  On a brighter note, I also believe there are many, many "volunteers" who are willing to help.  If we get out there amongst our friends, neighbors, family and associates (and even strangers), we can all find our niche - and like the tornado volunteers - we can accomplish a lot.
I propose that the best way to start is with a smile and a kind word.  I also propose that the best place to start is within our own homes.
   Well - this blog post has just spilled out of my mind and has developed a life of its own - prompting me to heed a little warning I have felt... that it is important for me to smile at my family members.

And that is all that I am going to say about this today....  I have to get busy scanning and smiling!

Angels Bearing Boxes

Prayers are answered.
First of all - our great news for a cancer-free Christmas!  Greg's PET scan results finally are back and he is declared 3 months cancer free!!  Such a relief!!

Trying to clean out the panty
I used up all of my flour and
fed the troops for the day!

Now about those angels - Yesterday was a busy day at my house.  My dear friend, Nina, and her daughter drove from Oregon to assist me in packing up my house.  They are - obviously - a few of those angels.  There were more angels who were unanticipated -- almost not recognized for who they truly were.
I begin my day with morning prayer.  Yesterday, in anticipation of packing, I prayed that we would have energy, be able to focus, get a lot done and that all would go smoothly... or something like that.  I had purchased about twenty boxes (in addition to what I already had) from Home Depot to see us through the day.

Three boxes of boxes

We began, we worked hard, and after several hours we had filled almost all of our boxes.  It was early afternoon and I received a text from Sherry - her neighbor had just given her several U-Haul boxes for us!  Hooray - we sent our daughters to retrieve them and kept on working.  This definitely made a difference in what we were able to accomplish.  We took about 20 minutes to eat a quick dinner (we found a half-bag of chips and salsa --- we didn't want to stop to cook - and, uh... we packed the kitchen).  Nina was thinking that they would soon head home when we heard the doorbell.  There stood Aparicia with three boxes full of boxes.  Our excitement was tempered by our realization that we had a few more hours of work ahead of us... but really, as time went on, we were simply in awe of the way that these boxes had appeared just as we needed them.  Aparicia brought it to our attention - when we explained that her boxes were here just in time she said that we obviously has angels looking out for us.  She knew that I needed boxes (which she usually gets me from her work) - but she had none yesterday.  However, she went in to work to attend a CPR class.  As she left the building she saw all of these boxes, sitting and waiting just for us!
We pondered these simple events over the last few hours of the evening.  Nina had arrived at 10:30 a.m. - she left at 8:30 p.m.  We worked for ten hours without stopping and were only able to do so because our sweet friends arrived, unanticipated, with supplies at the moment they were needed.
This is an incredibly obvious answer to my prayer.  As I reflected on those boxes today I realized something else.  Both Sherry and Aparicia had made specific offers of help with packing.  I would not hesitate to call on either of them to do so.  I think it is because their hearts were open to service that they were placed in a position to be able to help in such a way.

We added another 50+ boxes

Boxes.  They may seem a small thing.  It was no small thing.  This is an example of a Tender Mercy from the Lord.  It was a reminder that He cares about all aspects of our life.  It is another reminder to me that our move to Texas is a blessing and that we are being watched over, cared for and protected.  I didn't know to pray for boxes, but I did pray for help.  Boxes on my doorstep reminds me that prayers are answered and we have angels, both seen and unseen, looking after us.

Salt and Honey in The Land of Enchantment

Next time we will need a
much larger U-Haul!

Shiprock, New Mexico – as we approached Shiprock I told Mark the story of my family’s experience in Shiprock almost 40 years ago… My parents had moved to Farmington, NM and when they heard there was a parade in Shiprock they thought that they would take the family to absorb some local culture. Well, it worked… I was nine years old and I recall the “Cuchina” dancers, but my parents remember that we were definitely a few grains of salt in a large pepper shaker – definitely the wrong ethnicity and not exactly welcomed. Oh well.
Yesterday it would appear that Shiprock had once again had a large parade – maybe they do this quite often. The traffic was horrific, but as we slowly made out way through town my mouth was watering over the many little stands selling Navajo tacos. Though we make them at home, I know that they are not as good as the ones I remember from my childhood in New Mexico. Therefore, when we came to a little gas station/café in a town called Cuba – we decided to order some Navajo tacos and frybread.

Delicious - but it burned!!

“Green or Red Chili,” the man was asking me – I asked which was the least hot…
“They are both hot,” was his reply – hmmmm.
“I guess I will take red”
“Red is hot!”
“Then I will take green.”
“Green is hot!”
“Please make mine without chili.”
….I got green. It was hot. We ordered to go and pulled over beside a little adobe Baptist church to eat. It was delicious, but hot. Too hot. We enjoyed a few bites and set them aside to eat the fry bread with some honey. I noticed that she had also added little packets of salt, probably to spice up the green chili, but I decided to add it to the honey on my fry bread (cheap honey packets aren’t too great) and was rewarded with a kettle-corn-like fry bread experience. Yummy as it was, Mark had spoken of some great sopapillas in Albuquerque so I only had a few bites. I guess I am going to have to get used to eating deep fried food if I am going to live in the South.

Sopapilla stuffed with
carne adovado - YUM!!
(Chili on the side - unused)
Mary & Tito's in
Albuquerque

Back to Farmington – watching the map as we drove through town I saw that we would be driving right past my old neighborhood and was so thrilled for a chance to check out the old house! We drove right to it – 1409 Camino Monte. Almost 40 years later and there are all the memories coming so clearly – we passed my friend Tanya’s home with the large addition in the back that my dad helped to build… there was the home that was robbed the same week as ours… the driveway that we weren’t allowed to rollerskate on even though their cement was so smooth… the neighbor’s house with the nice dad who saved us when we (the children) thought our house was on fire but it was only us burning up our treat in the oven… the Butler’s home where we lived while waiting to move to Wyoming… the Carlson’s home where I had my first babysitting jobs when I was 10 years old… and my house – missing the tree in front that I used to climb.

1409 Camino Monte - 2015

Bluffview Elementary

Camino Monte - 1977

We drove to Bluffview Elementary – on the way I saw the house where the lady told me that I was too old to trick-or-treat; though in reality I was just tall for my age – I was 9 years old and so mortified Inever went out trick-or-treating again… I saw the alley where someone had dumped old sheetrock and we would take pieces of it be chalk on the sidewalk… The school had changed of course… it was so much smaller than I remember… I saw the gym and remembered sitting at a before-school parent meeting with my mom being so shocked that we would be expected to bring our own school supplies because we had moved from Reno, Nevada where they had enough money to supply paper, pencils and other supplies for their students…. There was the library which made me remember the day that I had pretended to be sick in order to skip the all-school spelling bee. My friend and I had won our grade level and I was so afraid that I would win again and be sent to a larger spelling bee – the teachers made it sound fun, but to me it sounded like a nightmare. Then there was the playground... the fun get-your-wiggles-out equipment had all been replaced with colorful and safe yet boring places to play. They used to have rows of half-buried tires to do hurdle races and we even had a semi-circle of telephone poles buried on-end at different heights to jump between.  Someone had donated hundreds of giant tractor tires and they were creatively made into all sorts of play equipment.  There was an awesome piece of equipment called "The Spider" which entailed hanging on vey tights and being spun in the air - like a merry-go-round in the sky.  There was always a big line to play here - and usually one or two injuries each year... but even the injured kids were back in line as soon as permitted.  Poor modern children - There are schools in town have "no running" rules.  Really?!?  My teacher kept a shoebox of Indian pottery pieces that we would find at recess while digging around in the dirt. We could take them home if we wanted, but it was fun to see her collection grow also.  I suppose that would all be illegal now...  For the record, I had the same teacher for 4th and 5th grade - her name was Amaryllis Trujillo and she was amazing.  She is the teacher who introduced me to one of my all-time favorite books, The Hiding Place  by Corrie Ten Boom.
Wow – I was amazed at how the memories came flooding in. Life is so interesting. So many people with which to interact… so many experiences to shape and form who we are today.
And the Land of Enchantment… I am, indeed, enchanted. Driving through New Mexico was a beautiful adventure. The bluffs and free standing monoliths – different colors and shadows. I wanted to get out and explore so many places – enchanting is a great description for what we saw yesterday. Southern Utah is magnificent as always. As I type we are driving through Western Texas – it is flat and I find it invigorating. Big sky… the hills are beginning to roll now (typing while en route) and I am reminded of my roots in Central California. Driving out Friday through the Columbia River Gorge I knew it would be one of my last times to make that drive – the Gorge has intrigued me since I first saw it almost 23 years ago. It is no secret that the beauty of the northwest is intoxicating to me – but driving through the varied landscapes for the past three days reminds me that I simply love the earth. The variety is spectacular and I am grateful that my Father in Heaven has provided such a get-my-hands-dirty-and-have-fun-doing-it type of playground in which to live, love, laugh and learn!  He obviously loves us very, very much!!

10th Birthday on Camino Monte:

I found this photo of my 10th birthday party - we moved away the next year but I remember most of these girls... left to right - Lori, ?, Elizabeth Penrod, Andrea Nygren, Myself, JoAnne, Shirley, Nanette Nygren, ?, Patty Palmer.

Holding My Breath... until morning!

These photos are about five years old and I have posted them
before, I wanted to show them to a friend and I am traveling
and cannot access them - so here they are again!

They go along with my post - see how we are all together
and smling in both photos - (Nathan is in the Philippines)
The second photo is taken in the winter with no leaves and
no hair, the night ended, morning came...
 leaves and hair returned... deep breath!

On Monday Greg went to Huntsman for his final chemotherapy.  In a couple hours he will be de-accessed - and complete six months of treatment.
I realize I have been holding my breath... for six months!  With this final tube removal I can breathe more deeply.
Greg sent a text on Monday saying that this treatment has gone by quickly and has gone by very slowly - I can totally relate.  He also sent me the following, "Night always becomes morning if the night is long enough."
The final words about night being long enough don't need to be there - night does always become morning... and some nights seem really, really long.  Right now Mark and I are in Texas - we have not yet figured out the hotel thermostat and last night was very long, hot and uncomfortable.  This morning I am up and refreshed - but I just know last night was longer than usual!  Chemotherapy is a "night" that seems longer than usual... yet here we find ourselves once again with the sun rising and a new day beginning.  The promise of a sunrise is a beautiful and powerful component of our life here on Earth!

David flew to Utah and was able to be with
Greg for his final treatment!  

I find I am still holding my breath on many other issues... my sweet little friend has had a return of her brain tumor and are waiting to hear if she can be part of a study for a possible cure... Jackie had an MRI last week but we have to wait until the 19th to hear her results... we are meeting our realtor in an hour to see if we can find a home for our family here in Dallas...  School is starting in a few weeks and I don't want to give up summertime and playing with my kids...
Still holding my breath - I am picturing the promise of sunrise... I am picturing the promise of "entering into the rest of our Lord" - I believe that it is not until we are in His presence and it is his Light that greets us that we will truly be able to breathe deeply and know that all is truly well.  Until that day - I will breathe the best that I am able, surrounded by loved ones supporting each other through our long nights and celebrating each sunrise together.

Don't Mess with Texas... Stress, Sadness and Eggshells

Don't Mess with Texas - what could Texas have to do with a very content country girl living in the woods of Washington?  Well, it has everything to do with me and my family as we prepare to move to Dallas, TX.  I should have titled this "Never Say Never" because for some strange reason - since childhood - I have said that I would never live in Texas.  There is no basis for saying this, and I haven't thought of it for many years.  For some reason I had that in my mind when I was young - and now here we are, preparing to be Texans.
The northwest has a reputation for being tree-hugging hippies and granola girls with unshaven legs.  Dallas has a reputation for big hair and bling.  I have continued to shave my legs for the 21 years I have lived here - and so do all of my friends.  Therefore I have hope that the Dallas reputation isn't necessarily accurate either.  I haven't had big hair since the 80's...
Hmmm, I just realized that today marks exactly 21 years since we left Provo, Utah with our two little boys, arriving on 6 July 1994.  I remember the date because we wanted to stay in Provo for the 4th of July - they know how to celebrate in a patriotic way... an entire week of Freedom Festival.  Our country could use more of this!! We moved from Oregon to Washington on 7 July 2001.  I know this date because we moved and then hurried back to my friend's home (Nedra) in Oregon where she had prepared David a one-year old birthday cake.

Stress - I believe that moving a family across the country is right up there with having children with serious illness... they are both major stressors on life and body.  We are certainly deep into both of them at the moment.  In fact, Mark received the word that he would need to plan to relocate the family last winter as I sat in the Huntsman Cancer Institute with Greg as he recovered from his surgery for colon cancer.  We kept this news to ourselves for months as we awaited a final destination.  It was certainly a weight upon our shoulders which has been lightened these past weeks as we have been able to talk with friends and make more definite plans.

Getting into the spirit of things - Greg sent
Mark a Texas flag for Fathers Day.  The boys
notice that all of their Texas roommates decorate
with it - so we are practicing!

I was walking with a friend this week and discussing the situation.  I told her that I will give myself a year to let some of this stress and its effects begin to wear off.  She pointed out that I have been saying this for a couple of years now.  Hmmm, that seems about right.  Well, we will just press on anyway - I know that these times will come and go.  When I am not dealing with my own stress, I will be helping others deal with theirs... and thus goes our lives.

Sadness - to leave the Pacific Northwest with all of its beauty - living only minutes from lakes, rivers and waterfalls.  To leave the dream home which we designed and built... not to mention our landscaping overhaul that isn't even a year old... to leave friends of over 20 years.  My sister and her family... Mark's brother and his family... We certainly have experienced sadness.  We have chosen to focus on the adventure of a move, but the sadness is also quite real.
We have overshadowed our grief with the rather fun game of staging our home and preparing it for sale.  This has been almost non-stop for several weeks.  So much work!  We could do more, but we ran out of time. Two days ago I stopped, got out a new cookbook and proceeded to bake several new recipes.  It was great therapy.
Last night we had a few families over for the Fourth of July.  The sadness began to creep in as I relished the beauty of the summer evening spent with friends and family... then within a few minutes I learned that a friend had just lost her closest brother in an accident... and another friend had lost a grandchild that they had only known for six precious hours.  My heart is so heavy for them.  Someday they will be able to celebrate these lives, but for now there is grief.  Grief is a part of our lives, without it we could not know Joy.  Nevertheless, it can be so hard!!
I do not compare the loss of a loved one to the sadness of moving - yet the sadness is still there.  We have had almost six months to deal with it, and from the beginning Mark and I have prayed together that we would be sent to a place where our children's lives would be blessed.  Many locations were discussed such as Denver, Salt Lake City, Chicago, Atlanta, Minneapolis... and then Dallas.  We cannot focus on the sadness when it is so much more helpful to focus on the adventure - and even more so to focus on the trust we feel in the answer to our prayers.  Sooo - we will see...

I will miss running outside for sun warmed
blueberries to eat with my breakfast!!  And
raspberries, and gooseberries, and blackberries...

Eggshells - This will sound silly, but this week I quit saving eggshells.  For years I have kept them in a little crock on my counter.  I like the crock - I got it from my grandmother's farmhouse and it reminds me of her.  I save eggshells because they are good for the soil - Apparently they are good for roses, so I decided they are good for everything.  I am not a very scientific gardener.  A couple times a week I dump them out in my garden and once in awhile I will smash them and work them into the dirt; and sometimes I crunch them up and place them around hostas, dahlias and other slug-favorites because slugs don't like to cross them.  Throwing away eggshells this week felt strange, but who wants to buy a house with eggshells on the counter?
Selling a house is quite a challenge.  We like the clean, cleared off surfaces, but only in the same way that we like to stay in a hotel once in awhile.  I really miss decorating with family photos and other memory-inspired paraphernalia.  Real life means keeping things in a pile - and it is hard to find things from those piles when those piles don't exist!  Even worse when those piles have been put away into places where they don't really belong because the piece of furniture where they should be put is now out in the shed in order for some prospective buyer "to picture their own furniture in the many blank spaces of our home."

I am now going to go and make frosting for David's 15 year-old birthday cake.  We are celebrating early as each of us are heading different directions this week with youth camps and house hunting trips to Dallas.  July turns out to be a significant time for our family I guess - it is going to be interesting to see where the events of this week will take us.  If we find something in Dallas that feels right and we can swing the financing, we will be there soon.  If nothing works out - and no one is buying my house, we could be here for quite awhile... so much unknown.  It is exciting.  Exhausting, but exciting.