Elephant Cookies Curing Childhood Cancer

    Elephant Cookies - we made a couple dozen last week.  They were cute, they were tasty, we shared them with friends... they will not help to cure cancer.

    Kneaders Bakery and Cafe, however, is offering an Elephant Cookie that will.  Because September is National Childhood Cancer Awareness month, these cute cookies are being sold for $2.99 and 100% of the proceeds raised will go directly to childhood cancer research at the Huntsman Cancer Institute. 

Here is more information:   Kneaders Bakery

   Elephants have always been my favorite animal at the zoo, but what do they have to do with all of this?  Apparently elephants have 100 times more cells than humans, so it would seem that they should be 100 times as likely to get cancer.  Not so!  Cancer in elephants is very rare.

   Our doctor at Huntsman Cancer Institute, Joshua Schiffman, has been conducting some very interesting research.  People have two copies of the gene we call P53 - elephants have FORTY copies of this gene!  When Dr. Schiffman taught my children about P53, he called it the superhero gene.  It rushes in when a cell is misbehaving - it either corrects the problem or gets rid of the troublesome cell.  If this misbehaving cell were to continue, it has the potential to become cancerous.  Forty Super-Heroes would be cool, something like that last Avenger movie, but all on the same side.

    Because of Li-Fraumeni Syndrome, four of my six children have only one operating superhero gene - thus the high tendency to develop cancer.  They have been behind the scenes at Hogle Zoo in Salt Lake City to have their blood drawn simultaneously with the elephants.  Dr. Schiffman has shared with us some exciting possibilities for the future of cancer care - perhaps my grandchildren will have an entirely different experience with cancer than my children have, or perhaps no experience at all.

    Apparently the National Cancer Institute spent 96% of its research funding on adult cancer research.  Childhood cancer could use a little help.  

    Dr. Schiffman had cancer as a child.  His research is helping other children.  The founder of Kneaders had a grandson diagnosed with childhood cancer at age 13. Their fundraising will help other children.   Three of my children have had cancer, (more than once) and we want to help other children.  I have neither the expertise nor the money to do what Kneaders and Dr. Schiffman are doing, but I can do my part by spreading the word.  

    There are 52 Kneaders locations in the United States, but sadly, none in Dallas, TX.  So, we made our own cookies.  We did not sell them, but we did share them with friends.  Hoping someone will share this information with a few of their own friends....  

    Again, here is the Kneaders website which discusses the cookies, the research and how to donate if you cannot buy a cookie...

Nathan found a Kneaders Elephant
in San Antonio... not quite as cute
as the picture.  The stores keep
running out (which is a good thing)

Drawing blood in the elephant cage.

We couldn't take pics of the
elephants, but later that day
we found this one at a museum.

Elephants are very happy to get their
blood drawn because they are fed
through the entire process.
They tried it on my kids too.

.

Working On My Quality

How was your day?......... Better!

What did you do? ............. I worked on my quality!

A few weeks ago I heard a woman speak of her 30-something son who has Downs Syndrome.  For 16 years he has worked at a steakhouse clearing tables and doing dishes.  Each day she goes to pick him up from work and each day they have the same conversation.  She asks how was his day and he replies, "Better!"  An inquiry into how he spent his day brings the same reply every time, "I worked on my quality!"

These responses stole my heart and have been in my thoughts ever since.  How often has my day been better than the day before?  Often enough... but what if it were consistently Better?  What if every day was better than the day before?  Granted, there are many things outside of my control which affect my day - but for the most part I am in control of what I do and how I react to situations.  In almost every way I am better than I was ten years ago... but if I could learn to work on this day by day - where will I be ten years from now?

I could work on being better in my family relationships, how I spend my free time, cooking & cleaning, coupon clipping, writing thank-you notes, smiling, keeping contact with friends,  exercising, reading, memorizing, sharing... blah, blah, blah.  Well, I could be overwhelmed and drive myself crazy and get discouraged trying to get better in everything.  Or I could not even try and just stagnate and feel even worse... 

This is where I really like the second response.  Working on my quality!  I can do this!  Instead of making a list of everything that needs to be better about my life (and feeling crazy and discouraged), I could just think about improving my quality of whatever it is I am doing when the thought comes to my mind.  If I could manage to think about it even once a day - improving my quality in that one instance ... well, I should be able to report that my day had gone "better" - and ten years from now I will have learned to seek for "quality" and find that every aspect of my life is "better". 

Good plan... 

Cancer checkup - Natalie had her MRIs and received a clean bill of health.  Jacqueline also had her MRIs and though there is some suspicious activity we are hopeful that nothing is cancerous.  Of course she is a missionary and so I was unable to be with her, but the doctors are not concerned at present.  Greg is happy to have a summer without chemotherapy and is recovering from over 30 stitches he received a couple weeks ago when they removed a few moles.  Only one mole proved to be undesirable, but they cleared all margins and he's doing great.  David and Mark will have their tests in July.  My one photo today is Kimberly - she doesn't have Li Fraumeni but we were still relieved when her pathology report came back clean.  About a month ago she had a painful cyst removed from her ear canal.  Aside from eardrops and a no-swim order, we were relatively unaffected.  Nevertheless, sending her into the operating room brought back many memories.  Fortunately I am well skilled at diverting myself - Nevertheless, it would seem that my children cannot go into surgery without some sort of excitement.  In Kimberly's case, after about 20 minutes, the electricity went off!  The generator kicked right on, but I was immediately aware that she was laying there under anesthesia and beyond my reach.  I was glad to get her home again.  As for Kimberly, she was thrilled to be able to report to her siblings that she had joined their "surgery" club.  They were not too sure that 30 minutes or so working on her ear "counts" - her lesion was "unremarkable" and her scar doesn't exactly give her bragging rights around here, but as the mom,  I'll take it any day!

Musical Surgery

In my opinion, a chemotherapy port is a sizable piece of equipment to have implanted... so to remove it under a local anesthetic seems like something I wouldn't want to do.  When he was 17, they put him to sleep - at 22, Greg was awake and able to give us a play by play.  He sent an email today with this report:

So probably the most interesting thing this week was my port removal surgery. If you're not a pediatric patient then you don't get put out for it. And if the doctor has some strange reason to not show up (I don't know what happened) she sends her PA to do it. ( I am really bummed that Dr Scaife did't get to do it. I really like her.) Nathan came up with me and got to watch. Everyone got to watch except for me. I was just numbed with lidocaine and then they sliced, pulled, snipped and all kinds of stuff while I tried to keep a conversation going that would keep me distracted from what was happening. So the port is out, I survived, and it really is purple. Now I just have a huge bruise from all the messing around.  

 A fun note about the surgery. They asked what kind of music I wanted. I didn't care so I said classical because that's the best kind to go along with a surgery, keep everyone calm. But the music kept keeping time to what was happening. As the doctors got ready the music was sad and tense, as if it was a dramatic TV show. Then as they operated it was sad as if I was dying and my family waited outside in the waiting room anxious to hear about me. The music came to a triumphant end right as they pulled the port out! kind of fun. Then there was a commercial break on the radio, just like TV. As the doctor sat and held pressure on my neck to make sure I didn't bleed out, the music was slow and thoughtful. Perfect for an end of episode montage. Me in the room, good news to the family, the guy who hit me in a car accident being led out of the court room. The lawyer being thoughtful, back to me and the music ended again right as the doctor was done sewing me up. That was kind of funny and we kept laughing about that. 

Blee & the Eagles

Someone recently reminded me that the stress of moving is equivalent to having a death in the family.  This helps explain why I am living in slow motion - I think I am still recovering from those last crazy weeks.  Most of this was my own fault - I wanted to see and spend time with everyone that I loved... and I couldn't leave town without painting my friend's kitchen cabinets, or any number of other projects which I felt driven to accomplish.

One of my all-time favorite photos!

  One big one - David's Court of Honor.  He had earned his Eagle Scout Award several months before, and he was just waiting for his best friend to complete his paperwork so that they could celebrate together.   Looking at the calendar one day we realized it would probably not be possible --- but never say that to my friend Heidi, she pulled out all the stops and her son began making phone calls.  Thanks to many helpful people, he completed his paperwork.
  Time was up - we were moving - but... Heidi and I both don't like to be told we cannot do something that we really want to do - and so... on the first day of moving we asked our movers to leave early so that we could all go down to the church and celebrate the hard work of these two Eagle Scouts.

New Years Day hike along
Columbia River

  That evening was even sweeter than we had anticipated because Kimberly had also been working hard.  She had earned her Young Woman's Medallion and so we were able to add her to the program.  Having spent so many childhood years together, it was fitting that we celebrate together as well, especially on our last night in town.
  For anyone who knows these kids - take a minute (or 6) and watch the cute video that Natalie put together (quickly before we packed the computer).  You can watch them grow up before your eyes.  My favorite part is watching David and Kimberly together - they have such a sweet brother/sister relationship.  See how his arm is always around her, protecting her like a big brother should.  Also notice how they are usually playing outdoors - it's not secret that this is where I like to see my kids.  (Blee is what David called Kimberly when they were babies and he couldn't pronounce her name.  Almost 14 years later it seems to have stuck.)  click here: Eagle/Medallion Slide Show

There were Three Musketeers, why
can't I find the photo with Sheadan?

Serving Mom and Dad
an anniversary dinner

  Kimberly's Young Woman Medallion, or Young Woman Recognition Award, is something to be proud of.  It is something that the girls at church begin to work on when they are 12.  In the past they had to finish it by the time they were 18, but it is now open to all women.  I earned one when Jackie earned hers, and again with Kimberly.  I thought I would try to get three with my three girls, but I managed two with an Honor Bee - so I am aware of how much work these can take.  I want to briefly explain what this award entails.
There are 8 "Values" that the girls learn about and incorporate into their lives.  These are:

• Faith ~ learning to trust in our Savior, Jesus Christ
• Divine Nature ~ we are all daughters of God
• Individual Worth ~ each of us is very important to our Lord
• Knowledge ~ we must participate in learning at every level
• Choice & Accountability ~ we are free to make choices but must accept consequences
• Good Works ~ service to others brings joy to everyone
• Integrity ~ we must be as good as our word
• Virtue ~ our thoughts/behavior must be based on high moral standards

Another road trip

With each of these values, the girls must complete six "experiences" and a 10 hour project.  Experiences include a wide range of activities, studying, service, learning/teaching, etc.  Completing eight 10-hour projects is very impressive.   The entire program is called Personal Progress and it is aptly named.  My sister told me that she is never a better person than when she is actively working on her Personal Progress.    Just like a grown man who has earned his Eagle Scout award will almost always stand out, so will a woman who has taken the time to develop her mind, her talents, her spirit and learned to care for others through Personal Progress.  The Honor Bee I mentioned is an additional award that is available to girls and women who have completed Personal Progress - it has several requirements which include 40 hours of service.

Holding hands along the way

So today I am just celebrating Young Women and Scouts and my children and brothers who put their arms around their sisters and playing outdoors and friends who help you pull off big events on the day you move away and that I managed to bake 90+ rolls for a dinner tonight and none of them burned and my husband's trip next week just got shortened by a day and that I can see my trash can blew over but didn't spill and... that there is always something to smile about!

Nathan and Greg are both Eagle Scouts
(They set this goal at a young age)

AND everyone celebrate that at this very moment - 1,000+ miles away, Greg is having his chemotherapy port removed!  That means that he is over 6 months post chemo and cancer-free!  Let's keep it that way!  He's happy because it has added another port to his collection.  I am thinking that two is a large enough collection!

Tossed with Waves

  When I was young, I used to wonder if I would someday be required to walk on water like Jesus did. (I'm pretty sure I won't have to do that.)  It's one of those stories that really catches a child's attention.  Recently I was reading it again and I noticed something new.  He is walking, not only on water, but on a stormy sea!  

24 But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.

I hadn't realized that there were waves and a "contrary" wind.  It really does change the image.  So now, picture Peter.  He climbs out of a boat which is tossing about on these waves.  Nevertheless, he wants to be with Jesus and he walks toward him... amongst the storm and tumult!!!  It is really very impressive!  And then:

30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

It was when he "saw the wind boisterous" that he began to fear and sink.  The tumultuous waves must have been terrifying.  Peter was successful until he changed his focus from Christ to the wind and storm surrounding him.  Those waves had been there the whole time and Peter was aware of them because he had been out in the "the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves"

Certainly I am aware of many waves, tumult and storm swirling around me.  You cannot be alive today without being surrounded by tempest.  I guess that the question for me has become, "Where is my focus?"  There are certainly things that I do not need to spend my time worrying about - but the greatest, most personal storms DO need a lot of time and attention.  If your child is sick you do need to seek medical attention, if you are moving across the country you do need to pack your house, etc. etc. Then, in the middle of everything, we need to have a positive attitude.  We need to take care of the big things, and the everyday things, and help other people with their things....

 Sooo....  in order to keep our head above water, it would appear that the skill we all must be seeking is how to take care of everything needing care - while maintaining a focus on our Savior.  

I think that this will take a lifetime of practice.

In my life,  I tend to not get very far and then, like Peter, I become afraid and begin to sink.  Here is a beautiful lesson for us... since we all fear, we all begin to sink...

And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him

This scripture says IMMEDIATELY Jesus caught him.  He was right there and waiting... but go back one verse and see what immediately after what?

 ... he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

Peter cried out for help.... and Help was there.  (Matthew 14:24-31)

Experience Joy

   A smart, beautiful young girl dies of cancer.  Her mother writes a book.  I read the book.  I know I wasn't having the emotions that I was supposed to have.  I felt frustration. This poor woman really struggled - really, really struggled.  For example, she could not bathe because the water caused so much pain on her skin.
  Poor lady!  As I read of her struggles at first I just wanted to say, "Get A Grip Lady!" - Not very nice, but I couldn't understand her reactions.  I have been through so many of these same experiences and handled them so differently.
  I am a nice person and I repented of my reaction -  Then my frustration stemmed from the fact that I couldn't step into the book and help her out a little!  I wanted to talk to her and share some things that I know.  Her daughter was an amazing little girl and I was sorry that their last months together weren't lived differently - but alas, I could not change the story.  In the end, the mother finds a sort of peace, though I still think she is off the mark.
  A few weeks ago I was able to speak in church.  My topic was "How a Christ-Centered Life brings Joy."  I love this topic!  Because we are new in Texas I was able to share a few of our cancer experiences.  I share this because I wanted them to know that, despite a couple of really trying years, our family experiences JOY.

I think this is supposed to be
accompanied by M&Ms.
I would share if I could....

  This is a message I wish that I could share with everyone.  I know that childhood cancer doesn't reach every home.  However, I also know that trials, heartache and suffering do reach every home in one way or another.  Cancer is easy to talk about.  I am blessed in this way.  I know that every mother will watch their child struggle with something and most of those struggles are not to easy to discuss, or should not be discussed with others.  We have some of those.
  Cancer, however, well - we can talk about cancer.  If your child hasn't been diagnosed, you know a family member or friend has been.  We all know the fear and we all want to help.  So... I talk about it.... Hoping that those other mothers can read and learn and know that we can experience Joy in the midst of our trials.  This is one of the most beautiful and powerful lessons that I have learned through our childhood cancer years!
  I have thought more about this during the past couple of days.  I know I can feel sadness, discouragement, apprehension, anxiety, exhaustion and many other less-than-positive emotions and still feel Joy.  I may not be smiling.  I may be crying.  I can still be joyful.  Joy is deep.
  I also thought that I cannot feel Joy when I feel emotions such as anger, malice, jealousy, etc.  Why is that?  If my Joy is deep, where does it go when I let myself be angry?  I think that the key is "let myself."  When I make the choice to let myself have such negative emotions, I experience the consequence which is to drive away the spirit of Christ.
  Jesus Christ taught us the way to be happy.  That way is to follow Him.
   He taught us, he asked us to do certain things and live a certain way... then he gave us the agency to choose how we will live.
   I have learned that when I choose to follow his teachings and example, I can be in the midst of great heartache and still have joy... still have peace.
   It is simple, but so many people don't know where to turn or how to get there.  I have learned a lot over my life - I will write more of what I have learned.... later.  This is because I have learned that joy in family life is not achieved when Mom spends too much time on the computer...

Surgery Photo - Warning

Here are a couple of photos Greg has shared in conjunction with his 5 year anniversary.  They are pretty awful - yet fascinating!

Working as an O.R. nurse (so long ago) helps me - I loved the blood and seeing the body... yet if I look too long and remember that it is my baby... I suddenly join the squeamish!

The tumor photo - ugh!

I have added the photo of the cake - another testament to Greg's fun and positive spirit... he texted it to me last night.  He wanted to get rid of a cake mix, so he made this cake to celebrate with his roommates - the completion of the first week of the semester.

Lucky roommates!

Cancer Leaves Its Mark - & Its a Good One

Greg feigning surprise to
find a tumor on his leg!

Greg's leg today

"Being cheerful is the only way you can get through it."
Today we celebrate the FIVE year anniversary of Greg's surgery in which 10 inches of tibia was removed and replaced with a prosthetic implant.  It was a lifetime ago, and yet happened only yesterday!
To celebrate, Greg has written a blog post for me to share.  After all of Mom's commentary on the subject, it is nice to read Greg's view of his cancer and the impact on his life:

There are moments that can change your life forever. Being diagnosed with cancer is one of those moments. Not only are the next few months instantly scheduled for you in a completely different way, but your life will never be the same. 

An experience like cancer will leave its mark. From my battles I have seen cancers mark on my Body, Mind and Family. 

Body

Scars aren't reminders of when you were weak, but of the times you were stronger than whatever came at you. After intensive surgery and chemotherapy my body will never be the same. There are some physical limitations that prevent me from activities I enjoyed, but also a great excuse to avoid the strenuous and less desirable ones. 

Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't been so lucky with my operations and had to have my leg amputated, or live with a colostomy bag for the rest of my life if I would have done it. Would the major changes be worth saving my life? The answer of course is yes. You do what you have to. I'm just glad I got the easy way out and don't have more serious complications. 

Mind

Surviving surgeries and chemo isn't an easy task, but there is a mental strength that comes from knowing that you can do hard things. There is a mental and emotional mark from cancer. Yes it is hard sometimes to keep smiling, hard to accept your “fate” of the disgusting treatments and its side effects, but as with other hard things you survive. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If I survived cancer twice and I'm only 22, then leaving home, going to school, serving a mission, those all become obstacles that I know I can overcome because I have seen my strength and I know that I can do it. There is a mental mark, but it isn't a disability, it's a support beam. 

Family

The final mark cancer leaves is on a family. Obviously there are effects on extra time Mom stays in the hospital instead of being home. There's dealing with a brother who sleeps in the living room and throws up all day. There's the extra presents on Christmas from hospital volunteers. There's the anxiety of going on a mission and leaving behind a sick brother. There are lots of strains that are placed on the family of a sick person. 

The family is different afterwards. Not only do we make jokes about cancer that make strangers stare, but we are drawn closer. I feel that having pulled together and having gone through the experience many times with many family members really helped me to understand why family is important. We have done things others will never do. I feel that as a family we appreciate time we have together. It's a mark for good. If we weren't “the cancer family” we’d probably just be some boring family with a cat. 

But I was looking through a box of “cancer memories” in the attic over Christmas break and the large pile of cards I found reminded me that family is a lot bigger. Extended family, grandparents, friends,  church members, neighbors, acquaintances, doctors, Dad’s coworkers children, my dentist, my old orthodontist, school teachers, and many others had taken the time to think about me, pray for me, and “send their love”. Cancer can affect a community. Those networks of love and concern provided a net that helped support me, encourage me, and make me feel like I wasn't alone. 

Cancer leaves a mark, but it's a mark for good. 

It's the anniversary of my leg surgery (1/11/11) and almost the anniversary of my colon surgery (1/22/15) (yes I try to get them close together on the calendar) and I was thinking how different this year is from last year. Being cheerful is the only way you can get through it. So when I found out last year that I had cancer it was quite a blow. I had already done that I didn't need to be humbled again. So we scheduled it in, dropped some classes, got some work off, and set out to smile our way through. 

The rule in our family is that you get 3 days of sad then you have smile. This year as I think of the exhausting year last year I can only say I am glad I don't have to do anything like that again for a while. My life isn't going to be “easy” from here on out, I know that. But the things I've been through will help me out. 

We can't avoid trials in life, we will all be pushed to our limits, but with faith in God and family surrounding you nothing is impossible. 

I'm glad I'm a cancer survivor. I'm glad it left its mark on me.

Greg Andrus

Angels Bearing Boxes

Prayers are answered.
First of all - our great news for a cancer-free Christmas!  Greg's PET scan results finally are back and he is declared 3 months cancer free!!  Such a relief!!

Trying to clean out the panty
I used up all of my flour and
fed the troops for the day!

Now about those angels - Yesterday was a busy day at my house.  My dear friend, Nina, and her daughter drove from Oregon to assist me in packing up my house.  They are - obviously - a few of those angels.  There were more angels who were unanticipated -- almost not recognized for who they truly were.
I begin my day with morning prayer.  Yesterday, in anticipation of packing, I prayed that we would have energy, be able to focus, get a lot done and that all would go smoothly... or something like that.  I had purchased about twenty boxes (in addition to what I already had) from Home Depot to see us through the day.

Three boxes of boxes

We began, we worked hard, and after several hours we had filled almost all of our boxes.  It was early afternoon and I received a text from Sherry - her neighbor had just given her several U-Haul boxes for us!  Hooray - we sent our daughters to retrieve them and kept on working.  This definitely made a difference in what we were able to accomplish.  We took about 20 minutes to eat a quick dinner (we found a half-bag of chips and salsa --- we didn't want to stop to cook - and, uh... we packed the kitchen).  Nina was thinking that they would soon head home when we heard the doorbell.  There stood Aparicia with three boxes full of boxes.  Our excitement was tempered by our realization that we had a few more hours of work ahead of us... but really, as time went on, we were simply in awe of the way that these boxes had appeared just as we needed them.  Aparicia brought it to our attention - when we explained that her boxes were here just in time she said that we obviously has angels looking out for us.  She knew that I needed boxes (which she usually gets me from her work) - but she had none yesterday.  However, she went in to work to attend a CPR class.  As she left the building she saw all of these boxes, sitting and waiting just for us!
We pondered these simple events over the last few hours of the evening.  Nina had arrived at 10:30 a.m. - she left at 8:30 p.m.  We worked for ten hours without stopping and were only able to do so because our sweet friends arrived, unanticipated, with supplies at the moment they were needed.
This is an incredibly obvious answer to my prayer.  As I reflected on those boxes today I realized something else.  Both Sherry and Aparicia had made specific offers of help with packing.  I would not hesitate to call on either of them to do so.  I think it is because their hearts were open to service that they were placed in a position to be able to help in such a way.

We added another 50+ boxes

Boxes.  They may seem a small thing.  It was no small thing.  This is an example of a Tender Mercy from the Lord.  It was a reminder that He cares about all aspects of our life.  It is another reminder to me that our move to Texas is a blessing and that we are being watched over, cared for and protected.  I didn't know to pray for boxes, but I did pray for help.  Boxes on my doorstep reminds me that prayers are answered and we have angels, both seen and unseen, looking after us.

Christmas Without Cancer? Perhaps...

What would Christmas be without cancer?

That was Greg's response.
My statement had been, "Well, if it does turn out to be something, at least the timing is good, with time off of school, etc."
"Well, yes, what would Christmas be without cancer?"

   Three months post-chemo meant MRIs and blood work for Greg this week.  Mercifully, he didn't tell me about all of this until the day he was headed to Salt Lake City.  It is not that I worry excessively, but it does mean feeling a pit in my stomach, or an extra weight on my shoulders until I hear all is clear. A hovering uneasiness is probably the best way to describe it.  MRI on Tuesday with clear results on Wednesday.  Blood work on Wednesday with low numbers back on Thursday.  Then Friday morning came, and in the middle of the off-to-school rush I received a call asking for Greg.  It is rare to get a phone call for him and it is usually the hospital scheduler calling our number by mistake, but this voice sounded intelligent and kind, so I found a quiet spot to hear his message.  This kind, intelligent voice belonged to Greg's oncologist in Utah.  His MRI had be re-read by Dr. So-and-So, the best reader of abdominal films, and a suspicious spot had been identified.
Friends who read of this account are probably letting out a low moan, similar to the one I shared with Dr. W---.  (I almost met this doctor after Greg's surgery, but didn't.  We think that he believes my mother is Greg's mom because she accompanied him on several visits... a bit awkward because he thinks he knows to whom he is speaking. - irrelevant -)
   There is a good chance that this spot is scar tissue.  Between moving a large piece of colon a few months ago and removing his right rectus abdominus muscle five years ago, there could obviously be a little bit of scarring.  This is what we are counting on... they will be calling to schedule a PET scan and hopefully it happens soon... If there is something that needs to be removed, we are praying that surgery will take care of it and he can be spared another round of chemotherapy.
   A few nights ago I was praying and was just overcome by feelings of love from my Father in Heaven. It was so real, it was like a hug.  I knew again who I truly am - his daughter.  My experiences here on Earth are for my learning.  He wants us to be strong, to have courage... and the miracle is that he is there to provide it for us if we look to him and seek his help.  It was a beautiful experience, and the next morning the doctor called.  We are hopeful that this spot is just scar tissue, but it is comforting to know that if there is a fresh trial to face - the God of the Universe knows us, loves us and is on our side!!!

And... the timing is good.  Greg will be home for Christmas, and what is Christmas without cancer?

Actually very few of my Christmases have been associated with cancer.  I just typed up a few stories - none of them are new:

   First Cancer Christmas was 1990.  Mark had a large bone tumor removed from his femur that summer.  The weakened bone then fractured while he was bowling, but it was so high on his leg that it could not be set without a body cast.  We had managed to borrow a wheelchair to get him to his final exams for the semester, but we were just newlyweds and determined to go back to our parents' homes in California for Christmas.  What a trip - over an hour to get him from his bed and into our car.  I drove on snow-packed roads from Provo to St. George.  We were about the only car brave enough to be there, and I just followed my dad's instructions to get my speed and not slow down.  Mark was in considerable pain but would occasionally try to stretch back with the long-armed snow scraper to wipe the back window of our little Dodge Colt which has defrost issues.  It wasn't so painful for him to help clear off the front windshield.  We had the necessary equipment to ensure that he never had to get out of his seat and I just drove for all I was worth - it is twelve hours on a good day.  We pulled into his parent's driveway and etched on my mind is the image of his father and brother, Danny, coming from the house to extract him from his seat and carry him indoors.  What a relief to be with family who loved us and wanted to take care of us.
   What year was it that he had the parotid gland tumor removed from his face? Maybe seven or eight years ago.  Was that Christmas?  I can't recall, but it was during a huge snow storm through which I had to get myself home to the kids when they decided to keep him overnight.  The surgery had taken many hours longer than expected and it was late when I got home.  Then back through the snow to retrieve him in the morning.  We laugh now when we remember how he called me early in the morning to come and help him because the nurses weren't doing just what he thought he needed... It's a good thing our children are brave because they have spent a lot more time in hospital beds than their dad.
   There was the magical Christmas of 2010 when we all gathered in Greg's hospital room and had a special visit from Santa Claus who came bearing several gifts for each child in the family.  How wonderful that Santa could find us so far from our home.
   2012 - Mark's father passed away (due to cancer) just before Christmas.  We were able to use our time off during the break to go and be with family.
   2013 - We had just learned about Jackie's parotid tumor and Natalie's brain tumor, but the plan was to watch them for changes.  It was the 26th of December when the doctor called from his family vacation in Florida to let us know that they had somehow missed the large chordoma on Jackie's spine - I guess the page had been missing from the report.  Yet as soon as they found out the wheels began to roll very quickly to remove this horrible tumor.  Even then it took a couple months for all the necessary testing and precautions... I have always thought that this was a sweet blessing in timing - we were blessed with a peaceful Christmas before the storm.
   2014 - Great Christmas to have all of our children home together - may be the last time we ever have just the eight of us alone!  With all of the good times was that same "hovering uneasiness" about Greg's health.  He weighed less than all of us, except perhaps Kimberly... and, of course, it was colon cancer - surgery in January and six months of chemotherapy.
   2015 - ??? (Well, we are moving two weeks before Christmas, so it's not like we don't have a little added stress already.)

Buon Appetito! An Italian Food Experience...

Buon Appetito - and in Italy we learned one cannot help having a great meal each time you sit down. The ingredients are so fresh!  Restaurant tomatoes usually make me cringe, but here they really did taste like they were fresh from my garden.  Our favorite part of the Italian restaurant experience was probably the waiters... handsome, charming Italian men playing their part wonderfully well!

One handsome, charming Italian man stands out as our family favorite!!  His name is Angelo and he was our official Make-A-Wish Wish Grantor.  Today's post will be a record of the wonderful day that we spent with Señor Angelo...

Jackie's official wish, "A Food Experience in Italy," was a mystery to us all.  Our local representatives were also unaware of what it would entail.  This would be our final day in Rome and we simply did not know what to expect.  All that we knew is that we were supposed to go and stand in front of our hotel at 10:00 a.m. and that a driver would come for us.  We had read about food tours that went to several restaurants and thought that this would be our activity.  We had spent the week in hot, crowded conditions and were simply hoping that we could be on a small tour, ideally just our family.

Pizza samples, sold by weight

Our worries were put to rest by the appearance of a gentleman who introduced himself simply as Angelo.  His kindness and his charisma put us at immediately at ease and we could see that we were in for a very special day!  He centered his attentions on Jackie... this was her wish and he often referred to her as "Queen for the Day" or introduced her, "This is Jackie, today she is the mayor of Rome!"

Fried Rice Balls

Angelo Amorico, of Access Italy, is Oprah Winfrey's personal tour guide when she chooses to visit Italy.  His list includes Sharon Stone, Diane Sawyer, and others.  On this day, he was ours, and our day was fantastic.
An open air market was our first stop.  We have been to these markets in Mexico and the Philippines, but a market in Italy is a much different experience - primarily because it smells so good (no dead chickens hanging here!).  The produce smelled delicious.  A man was demonstrating a fun kitchen gadget which has many interesting uses such as cutting carrots into corkscrews.  Angelo bought one for Jackie and she has enjoyed using it at home.  We proceeded to a cheese store for a few cooking ingredients.  Along the way we kept meeting members of Angelo's office staff.  He had given them the day off to spend with us!  They are all young, personable and hospitality-oriented... just the kind of people that make you feel welcome.  We popped into a couple delis to sample different pizzas and a couple flavors of some sort of fried rice-ball.

Natalie and Angelo add Olive Oil

Learning to roll the dough

The pizzas cook quickly

Heart pizzas for parents

Many hands make light work

Two chefs magnifico!

Back in the van, we could hardly believe it when we pulled up to a pizzeria and they met us with hats and aprons for the four children.  The kids washed up and were led into the kitchen where they mixed a large batch of pizza dough to be used that evening, enough for 50 pizzas.  Dough was supplied for each of them to create their own pizza.  Italian pizzas are much more simple than ours - and it was a bit of a surprise to the chef when Natalie requested ham and pineapple... but he supplied some chunks of fresh pineapple and prosciutto.  Mark and I were sent outdoors to the table so that we could not see them preparing heart-shaped pizzas for the parents.  Each staff member then ordered a pizza and we all ate together at tables set in the narrow street.

Adding a layer of chocolate

Making tiramisu at Angelo's

At this point Angelo was going to take us for some amazing gelato - we had eaten gelato at least once a day for a week, but Angelo assured us that we were in for a treat.  Unfortunately, we were all very full... so we moved on to an even better surprise.  Señor Angelo took us to his home!  Here we met his charming wife - she grew up in Boston, but when she married Angelo he informed her that she would need to learn to cook Italian... and she has.  We all crowded into her kitchen and were taught how to make tiramisu!  Only one problem - the biscuits are supposed to soak in coffee... and here I had to let them know that we do not drink coffee but usually just substitute milk.  These kind women did not miss a beat - immediately they were making hot chocolate and we soaked with this instead.  They had us add a layer of chopped chocolate in the middle so the flavors blended beautifully - it was delicious.  While it soaked we simply enjoyed being in their home...

Angelo, Jackie and
an un-named, but famous, pope

Angelo's door - look at the step

I really loved this door!

If I remember correctly,
this stonework was
originally at St. Peters
until it was remodeled.

Angelo had told us the building in which they live was built in the 1400's.  When we entered there was a plaque with a date in the 1600's - so he clarified that it was built in the 1400's but remodeled in the 1600's.  The door into the building was so old - I was enchanted because the step below the door was also quite worn with age.  We saw a lovely garden and a small chapel which housed a vault in which a pope had been buried.  This pope is famous - in St. Peters Basilica there is a large statue of Christ, Peter, Paul and a pope... this is that pope, but I do not recall his name.
Sadly, our adventure came to a close.  We would like to have walked through more streets and heard more stories - For example, a fun fact he shared with us was that a plaque on a building banned putting any sort of trash in that area - this "law" had been in effect for hundreds of years on that street because no one is allowed to change it.  I wondered what all the other plaques had been saying.
Angelo has been doing this for a lifetime - and for us, spending a day with him was the opportunity of a lifetime.

Jackie is an official
Italian Chef!

Just for fun - after being dropped off at the hotel we had to choose our final activity.  We decided to return to St. Peters Basilica because we liked it so much the first time.  As we left we remembered that Angelo's neighborhood was also near the vatican... we wandered the streets until we came to a gelato shop - hoping that it was the one that we had missed earlier.  With the best flavors and no labels in English - we think we found it and... YUMMY!!!

We think we discovered
the Best Gelato Ever!

Italy held many delights and adventures for us - ancient ruins, fountains, the Vatican, Pompeii, pizza, gelato... but Angelo truly stands out as a Wish-Come-True!!
Thank you to Make-A-Wish... and forever thank you to Señor Angelo Amorico.  He's the best!

Thank you Angelo!!!

We made some delicious tiramisu
last week but had to use Vanilla
Wafers - couldn't find ladyfingers.

We wore our Make-A-Wish buttons
as we traveled.