A Celebration of Sunshine!

The package intrigued me as I watched the UPS man bring it to my front door.  It was different because it didn't have the Amazon "smile".   Usually our packages come from Amazon; this is a result of living in the country and developing an overwhelming preference for online shopping over the time and expense of driving to the store.  I won't even get started on my opinion of "shopping".

Back to the package; it came to our house and filled our home with sunshine... literally.  Sunshine from strangers!  It was addressed to Jackie and Natalie and was from a youth group in Oregon!  A class of 12-13 year old girls had prepared this box full of all-things-yellow-and-fun.  There was also a pillowcase for each of the four children.  The pillowcases were marked with the name of each child, but there were no names on the card nor anywhere in the box to let us know who had sent it.  My detective work told me that I do have some very dear friends who live in the vicinity, but none of them are 12 or 13, nor are their children.
A group of teenage girls had taken the time to send a care package to two teenage girls in a neighboring state.  They must have heard that these girls were having some trials and boxed up some sunshine to share.  How marvelous that they had surplus sunshine to spare!!  How marvelous that they are being taught at a young age to look out for the happiness of others!  They did not include their names, they did it not expecting any sort of recognition; but here is a grateful mother blogging about it.
Jackie had fun opening the package and taking out each thoughtful and cheerful item.  We set it up for a photo and then left it so the other kids would enjoy it as they came home from school.  It was a fun afternoon.  Natalie saw it and within a few minutes had written, addressed, and stamped a thank you card.  My heart was warmed as I thought of how my girls would remember this and it would help them to pay it forward... looking forward over the years for other ways to spread some sunshine.
I ran across this quote - it is by Amelia Earhart:
No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves. 
I could not begin to list the many thoughtful acts of kindness that have come our way.  It has been both humbling and rewarding.  We like to say that it is better to give than to receive.  I am learning that it is also very good to receive.  When Greg was in the hospital it was hard to receive so much help, but we really needed it.   At that time I liked to remind myself that we would again be in a position to give, as though I needed to even the score.  This time around I have changed my outlook, though I do not know that I can put it into words.  I will try.  I know that it feels really good to serve others.   Knowing this helps me to receive service, knowing it is blessing the lives of my friends.  There is, however, even more to it than that.  I believe that individuals on either end of the service have a sort of bond created between them.  When I gratefully accept the service of others, (especially when I don't worry about reciprocating right away), we touch each other's lives.  Everyone is blessed, everyone is closer and both lives are more full.
         I was just about to wrap up these thoughts and I was interrupted... now I feel that I want to mention two other acts of service that have been unique.  One because it was also given by someone who doesn't know us, and one because it was for the mom.
First - the mom's gift.  Diane is a lady at church that I don't know well, but everything that I do know is very positive.  She is someone that I admire.  What a surprise when she came to visit Jackie (right after surgery) and presented me with a gift certificate for a massage!  I had not thought of how beneficial that could be - but she did.  I decided I should use it right away since she had meant for it to help me with my stress.  Immediately those little pains I had been having all over my body were gone and my sleep improved immensely.  How very perceptive she had been!  She brought not only comfort, but also friendship and "sunshine".  I can learn so much from her example.
Another kindness from a stranger came just a couple of weeks ago.  My sister has a friend who has a photography business.   I had wondered (to my sister) if her friend (Mallory) would possibly take a few of my photos of Jackie and photoshop them for us.  Last year Jackie had decided that she wanted to know more about photography and wanted to practice by doing her own senior pictures.  I could snap the photos and we could use the money we saved on a photographer to buy some new software - but we would have to learn how to use it.  Mallory contacted me via email.  I explained what we had planned and how our plans to learn editing techniques had been thwarted by cancer.  Right away Mallory wrote and told me that her father and brother had both gone through cancer - people had been so kind to their family and she wanted to pay it forward.  Would we please consider letting her do a complimentary photo shoot for Jackie?
Yes, we would!
We could have hired Mallory and our photos would have been just as good.  The experience, however, was enhanced for everyone because of the service involved.  My mother's heart was touched that someone would reach out and brighten my daughter's life.  Mallory must have felt that she was not only helping Jackie, but also giving back by paying it forward.  Jackie was not only thrilled, she surely felt more relaxed and enjoyed herself more knowing that this photo shoot was something that Mallory wanted to do, not just something she was paid to do.  By accepting her offer, we not only established a bond with Mallory, we also opened up our hearts to those in our own future --- We will be even more likely to remember to offer service when we see the opportunity.
 In Matthew 22:37-29 we can see that giving and receiving help us (and others) to obey the first two commandments!  It is obviously a big deal!!

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Our lives are blessed at many levels when we receive service.  Our lives are blessed at many levels when we give service.  Sharing our means, giving our time, thinking of things we like and doing it for someone else... even someone we don't know --- this isn't so hard.  I takes little effort and brings great rewards.... hmmm... I think that I will go to bed now and think about something I can do everyday next week.  Even a smile makes a difference.  Better yet - time for a family meeting... we have been given much and we need to give.

MRI & More Mothers Day

Dr. Hayden sat at the screen, looking at the MRI and scrolling up and down, up and down Jackie's spine.  Finally he turned and looked at her and pronounced, "You win!".
I hadn't realized the weight that I had been carrying until those two words eased the load.
Slowly he went through the MRI with us - showing us a normal vertebral body and rib, then the area that had undergone surgery - it looked like a war zone.  Many people ask us if her ribs will grow back - no, they will not.  They are, however, growing fresh bone tissue at the cut end which will finish it off nicely.  He ran up and down the spinal cord a few times to show us how it was always perfectly round, no changes.  He was very pleased about that.
We asked him about the research study and why were the researchers so excited?  He isn't involved with the research, but he knew that they were excited to get a chordoma because they are so rare, especially here in Portland where there is only one doctor that deals with them.  It was also great for research because she had not previously undergone any sort of treatment - the tumor is alive and flourishing.  Yuck - because the tumor is our enemy, but cool if they can learn more for future patients.
We also wanted to know how long he thought the tumor had been growing.  Again, Jackie is a very unusual chordoma patient (young, female, etc) so he says they really cannot predict.  In an older patient they know that over six months it might grow only a millimeter or two, so it is most likely that it has been growing for many years.  She hasn't been alive long enough for it to grow at that rate and end up as big as it was... My personal guess is that it has been there 7 or 8 years, growing at a rate of 1-2 cm/year.  My other guess is three years growing quickly.  No scientific basis for my guesses,  just instinct.  So I guess that she can tell people that she had a very rare form of cancer for most of her life, but that she is now cancer-free.  Woohoo!
He says he would usually have her back in 6 months, but she is so unusual she needs to be there in 4 months.  "Would that work for us?"  Hello!!??  I just found out that we won't be traveling to Seattle all summer having proton radiation treatments!!  I think I can get her to OHSU in 4 months.
Time for her to find a job.
Now I just want to say something else about Mothers Day - besides poetry, my kids usually band together and bring me breakfast in bed, complete with flowers from the yard.  This year I woke up and knew no one was stirring.  I felt a little sad for a moment but, quite frankly, knew they were all tired and we had to get up and get ready for church anyway.  Unbeknownst to me, David had gotten up very early and snuck downstairs.  When I got out of my shower there was a breakfast tray waiting for me on my bed, complete with homemade pancakes (blue), hash browns, and milk (pink).  I thought the colored food was an especially nice touch since it was something we did for fun when the kids were younger.  David is 13 and he pulled it off by himself without a word to his sisters.  I have rarely enjoyed a meal so much.  Just for the record and to show what a normal 13 year old boy David is, I will now record his 2014 poem:  "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
Well, this is what you say when you have nothing else to say...  His breakfast told me what his poem could not.  I love being a mom!

Mothers Day & Make-A-Wish & an MRI

Poetry - I used to feel pressured to love it.  I didn't love it, but I felt that I should.  When I was in high school we had an old poetry book that had belonged to my grandmother and I would take it to bed to read at night.  I actually enjoyed it.  I liked the poetry and I liked the way it felt to read it... and that is how my relationship with poetry stands today.  I am rarely "moved" by it,  I rarely write it, and I never seek it out as a way to spend my free time.  I am feeling brave by putting my lukewarm-poetry feelings into print because I still feel like it label me as completely un-cultured.  So be it... I do have some poetry in my possession that I absolutely love.  The poets are my children... each year, as Mothers Day approaches, Mark asks what I would like and I remind him that all I want is a poem from each of my children.  My friend, Nina, shared this idea with me while our children were young. I must have 10+ years of poetry written just to me from those who are most precious to me.  What a treasure!  I am very blessed.

My Mom Sparkles!

Last week my brother, Tom, posted a nice Mothers Day greetings to the women in his life. To my sister and I he wrote:  and my spiffy sisters Corinne  and Lori who are raising really fine humans partly because they're both so bafflingly positive and shiny all the time.   I really like the phrase bafflingly positive - I guess it is true.  We both have plenty of trials in our lives, and we are both positive and happy.  I would like to agree that I am shiny, but I am not sure what they means.  I attribute much of this to our mother because I have always felt that the greatest inheritance I have received from her is her sweet faith.  Through her example I learned that having the faith to make the right decisions will always bring blessings to my life.  For that, I am grateful every day. She is definitely "Shiny". Thanks Mom!  I also liked this because Tom is one of those super-brainy-English-majoring-type individuals who seems to take delight in using big words that I don't understand.  (He would probably like to tell me to stop using so many hyphens when I write - but I really like hyphens.)  Using words like "bafflingly" brings him back to my level and it is fun.  Thanks Tom!

With Tom - doesn't he just look smart!
Wow!  We are so cute!

Make-A-Wish Foundation contacted us last week to let us know that Jackie is eligible to receive a wish.  How exciting.  I am excited because it is another bright spot in a gray circumstance.  We have been through the process before and know that receiving a wish is a wonderful highlight to the whole cancer experience.  Greg was in the hospital for his first round of chemotherapy when they came to our room to tell us he was eligible.  My heart hit the floor and I know they could read in our faces what we were thinking ---I had alway thought of Make-A-Wish as a last wish before you die.  I was somewhat horrified that they would spring it on us like that!  Of course they explained it is for children with a life-threatening illness - and then it became much more exciting.  Greg spent quite awhile trying to figure out what to wish for - months I believe.  Eventually he received camera equipment and he loves it!  He entrusted it to my care during his mission and we have only used it a couple times... to make sure it still works.  Jackie hasn't a clue of what to wish for - she would also love a nice camera but doesn't want to copy Greg, she would love to go to Boston but is running out of time, she has no interest in meeting anyone famous.... this is actually not as easy as it seems.  After hearing about all of this, Greg wrote that he was excited but also commiserated with Jackie in having to make this decision.   I will be interested to see what she chooses and am quite excited for her.

Taking photos of each other taking
photos - Greg's camera is much nicer!

For most of my life I have known that, given the opportunity, I would wish to ride in an F-16.  I used to be quite obsessed with the notion.  My Air Force son will laugh and know that F-16 is the only real name for a jet that I know... there are probably better ones to wish for.  I just want to go really fast through the air.   For now, however, I am not so sure that is what I want to do (though I would never turn down an opportunity).  If someone granted me a wish today (knowing that they cannot pay off mortgages), I would probably wish for a trip to England.  I would bypass the tourist attractions in favor of the countryside and visiting our ancestral roots.  Maybe a Jane Austen site if it were convenient.  Perhaps a quick trip to France to eat their bread and pastries.  Oh well, I am way past 18 and not eligible anyway... but it is fun to consider.
The younger children had a few questions after the Make-A-Wish announcement.   "Isn't Jackie's cancer gone?  Does she still have cancer?"  That is a good question.  When do you stop saying that?   It was easy with Greg - we said he had cancer while he went through his 7 months of chemo, and then we called him a survivor.  Obviously, though unknown to us, Jackie has had cancer for many years.  I seems strange have it over with after one surgery.  We should know more today as  Jackie and I head back to OHSU for an MRI and follow-up doctor visit.  I am so glad that our doctor appointment is on the same day as the imaging so that we don't have to worry overnight.  I am not yet worrying - this does loom over us, but I am bafflingly positive, so I will not worry until they give me a reason.  Dr. Hayden was very confident that they had removed the cancerous tissue and I am going with that.
The children also wanted to know, "Does Natalie get to make a wish?"  Oh dear, I really, really hope not!

OMSI and The Fried Onion

Time Travel - it makes me dizzy.  Time travel is how I feel when one of my senses magically transports me back in time.  It is usually smell - earlier this week I smelled some flowers from a tree that were intoxicating.  I couldn't quit smelling them - I realized they reminded me of jasmine and being at my Grandma Goodwin's house in San Luis Obispo.

It was one of these pancakes -
Is it silly to take photos of my food?
I have done it for years, but it has become
a real habit with my iPhone.

The first time I had this sensation I was just 7 years old and lived in Reno, NV.  I was walking to school with my brother, Tom.  He was 9 and bragging about how he would be a decade old on his next birthday --Wow!  I was impressed and wondered if I would ever be a decade old???  Then we passed Randy's house (this was his friend who was ALREADY a decade old).  There was a smell in the air and we were both transported to Grandma's house - I was so intrigued!  Last weekend I was making pancakes and as I flipped one of them... (this will sound silly)... it looked just like my mom's pancakes used to look.  I felt dizzy, staring at the griddle and feeling quite sure that I was 16 and making breakfast for my family.  I was intrigued again... our brains are So Cool!  Maybe I was dizzy because the sense was sight - when a smell transports me it is more gentle...  Hmmm, I will probably not sleep tonight trying to figure that all out.

OMSI with David

One-on-one time with my children is always a favorite pastime.  Last week I spent a day at OMSI with David.  The IMAX movie was Unseen Mysteries of the Universe and we were both captivated.  I had been captivated earlier by an exhibit on Nanotechnology.  (Here I would like to add how nice it was to be at OMSI with one mature child - rather than trying to keep track of several small children.. or worse, on a field trip with several children not-my-own.)
Nanotechnology - and cancer.  I am thinking we may have been born just a few years too soon.  I am hopeful that my grandchildren will be spared from the suffering my children have experienced.  We do live in an age of wonders --I watched several videos about treating cancer with gold nano shells which - when injected into a cancer patient - will migrate to the tumor/cancer cells.  After just a few hours they will add light/laser and the nano shells will heat up to the point that the tumor cells will be destroyed.  We could have sure used that eight weeks ago, rather than cutting Jackie hither and thither.  Additionally, Iron nano particles will travel to lymph nodes and tell doctors whether or not it contains cancer.  My dear friend has a husband who has been treated for an advanced stage cancer... and now can only watch and wait for those suspicious lymph nodes to do something.  A few iron nano particles would really be helpful.
As interesting as the research is - it was the story of the researcher that was truly inspiring.  Her name is Dr. Naomi Halas from Rice University.  Here is a link to a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSObY7dlSaY

The Fried Onion with David

It is the same as shown at the OMSI exhibit.   Exciting is the part of the video when she describes her breakthrough with the gold nano shells.  It came to her in a dream!  She had been very frustrated, and then woke up one morning at 2:30 with the knowledge that she needed... she went to work the next day and knew what to do - and it worked.  Some people would say that her brain worked it out in her sleep, but to me it sounds like personal revelation.   Dr. Halas was excited as she spoke of her dream and my first though was "The Glory of God is Intelligence".  I believe that when there is a breakthrough that benefits mankind, its source is Divine.  This story combined with the IMAX film - Wow - I was feeling very aware of the incredible beauty and intense "awesomeness" of the world around me; and of course of the Creator of it all.  He knows everything and shares it with us little by little as we are ready (at all levels)... it is so cool.

The Rachael - YUM!!

The real fun began as we took Mark's advice to eat at The Fried Onion.  David had been here twice before with Mark and it was fun to let him show me how it all worked.  The Fried Onion used to be a food cart and has moved to some sort of garage surrounded by warehouses.  Not my favorite location, but it made it more of an adventure.  It is run by an extremely nice couple who seem to love baseball - New York fans I think.  If you are a Red Sox fan there is a surcharge... I had the "Rachael" which was amazing - grilled pastrami with cole slaw and spicy Russian sauce.  David had a pastrami burger.  The buns are soooo good - I like good bread better than good meat - and this was all delicious!

Speaking of good buns - I
love to make homemade hamburger
buns - what a difference!!!
We had these last week with pulled pork.

Several days later - I have been thinking about senses/time travel.  There is a difference between seeing/smelling/hearing something that reminds me of another place and that rare, dizzy feeling that comes along when the sight or smell tricks my brain... Maybe it is just my brain... so often when I share ideas like that my friends or family will raise their eyebrows and give each other that "knowing look"...  But, it just happens that I walked past that same tree with David a couple days ago.  I hadn't mentioned it to him (and I didn't even smell it yet)... he stopped and said, "Wow, how did we get to California?"  (His grandma also grows jasmine in San Luis Obispo.)  No wonder my kids are my favorite dates (after Mark of course)... we understand each other.  As for time travel - rather than getting up to go fix dinner (which I am about to do), I wish we were all back there at the Fried Onion about to take a bite of that delicious sandwich!!!

Got Milk?

I was four years old the first time I drank a glass of milk and liked it.  The next time I liked it, I was 20.  In the interim, I could drink milk with some form of peanut butter, chocolate, bread, etc. but I didn't really enjoy it.
That first time that milk tasted good I was at my Grandma's house.  I remember the glass of milk sitting alone on her kitchen counter.  Since I was four,  I must have been told that I could not have anything else to eat or drink until I drank all of my milk.  I know I was alone when I drank it - surely I would not have wanted to be observed humbly bowing to the inevitable.  I was surprised to find that I liked it and recall noticing it was warmer than usual.  Later, I left my milk out to warm up and... yuck!  That certainly wasn't what had changed the experience.

Tres Leches Cake
Absorbing all of those
high-fat milks!

Sixteen years later, my roommate, Stephanie, and I were babysitting her little niece.  There on the counter was a pan of mint/chocolate brownies - they were delicious, but definitely needed milk.  Stephanie's sister had only skim milk and I had been raised to say "yuck" every time skim milk was mentioned... but those mint/chocolate brownies were making me desperate.  I drank my first glass of skim milk and... I loved it!  It was so refreshing!
Mark came to our marriage as a 2% drinker - for years we settled on 1%.  Then the children came and we bought them whole milk when they were young, tapering off as they grew.   We used to go through eight gallons a week!

Tres Leches Cake -
A great use for milk.  My
favorite birthday cake and
now Kimberly's also.

Several years ago I was talking to my mother-in-law about a book that she had read.  It addressed the topic of eating all of our food in whole form - this was the first time I had thought about skim milk as being tampered with.  I am always happy to avoid non-tampered-with-food... but to start drinking whole milk?  (yuck)  A couple months ago David heard a radio program explaining the same concept; he began to ask for whole milk.  Finally, I consented... well, kind of.  I bought 2% milk.
The result?  David is pleased, Mark doesn't care, I am happy because it helps with my baking, and the girls... they are none too pleased.  In fact, there are stirrings of rebellion each morning when the milk carton is brought to the table.  I will give it time...
Who cares about milk?  Is it about milk?  Milk rebellions have made me wonder.... What if the kids had been raised on whole milk and then I introduced non-fat?  There would be stirrings of rebellion...

African Milk Tart - I tried
this in cupcake size for a
7th grade Africa Day.
The family loved it also.

There are many things that we introduce our children to during their lives that they take into adulthood as the way life should be lived.  Some may be trivial - like which way the toilet paper is supposed to roll (over the top) or whether or not everyone opens a gift on Christmas Eve (we don't).  Health habits are important (throw out the soda - gross) and we set an example of how to spend our time (turn off the TV - throw out the video games!!).  Then what about raw cookie dough??  We definitely eat it - weighing the risk of a bad egg against this joy of childhood?  Cookie dough wins.  The other day Nathan was texting me about some new books that he wants to read.  He said that he is the only student he knows that has his own little library (not counting textbooks).  This made me happy because I invested many years reading aloud to the family at night.

Lunch - I invented these
yummy little homemade
tortillas with Mexican
crema and sliced mango.
Eaten warm - YUM!

Like all children, mine are growing up and leaving home.  Before I know it, they will be getting married - and they will marry someone who has a whole new set of "traditions-that-define-how-life-should-be-lived."  Recently, my dad gave me his definition of marriage and it makes me smile (my parents have been married 49 years) - it is "When Worlds Collide"
So, when my children's nonfat-turned-2%-no video-game-cookie-dough-eating world collides with that of their love.. I wish them well in getting it all worked out and creating their own family traditions.  There are, however, things which are becoming more and more important for their future happiness... things that we have worked hard to purposely instill in our children (to carry into their adult lives) and that they are planning to look for in their future spouse.  These things include family prayer and scripture reading, one night per week devoted to family time, regular church attendance and honor for the Sabbath Day, respect for their bodies, patriotism,  a quest for education, etc...  All of those good things that really matter.  My job will be to drink whatever type of milk they put on the table.

Update - We now have a date for Natalie's brain surgery - it will be on June 16.  The really good news is that I was able (finally) to enroll her in driver's ed - we found a class that started next week (after tennis) and ends on the 12th before surgery.  It will be nice to stay busy while anticipating.....